Okay this is a big title. Lets get rolling.
Miracles - Heidi received and shared some excellent news today in regards to Paige. Everything came back clean on the Pathology report. When I read her text I was emotional and now that I write about it I am emotional. I have watched this woman of tremendous faith go forth with a challenge that would have completely overwhelmed me and she has been so strong. I am so happy for Heidi and for little Paige. Thank you for your prayers of faith on their behalf.
Gratitude - Upon receiving the news above I changed my FHE lesson on the fly and went back to President Monsons talk on Gratitude. We took a look at the part in the beginning when he spoke about the 10 lepers. Only one returned to give thanks to the Savior. As a family we have been praying daily for Paige and for Heidi. Tonight we talked about our gratitude to the Lord for blessing Paige to be made whole.
I am grateful for my wonderful children. Natalie, as bossy as she is with everyone in the home, has been a tremendous help. She does really well with the boys when she wants to and perhaps when they conform to her agenda. She does try hard and I am grateful for her. She is a good girl. I know that it is hard for her to have her mom so far away. She loves her mom and I am grateful for that. It is important for Natalie and it is important for Rachel. Natalie doesn't let her off the hook with church and that is good.
Jack told me tonight when I tucked him in bed that "you don't have anyone to cuddle with, that's okay, when Rachel comes you can stay home and cuddle". This little boy is so innocent. I hope I did not open a can of worms when I told him that wasn't going to happen and we were not married anymore. He asked "why?" Well, there is more to discuss on the matter I know but it was bed time and I really wasn't prepared for it. Anyhow, I love Jack. He has such a sensitive spirit and a love for just about everybody (I have to qualify that every time because of the old nursery leader that he struggled with and bit in the butt).
Andy is my little buddy. We only had 3 changes of clothes today. He decided he needed to play in the snow again while I was clearing stuff at the LBH and got completely soaked before school. He gets to a point where he is freezing and then tells me how much he hates the snow. He is my Florida boy for sure. He has never told me he hates the beach. No, no, he loves the beach. Anyway every time we drive to school I have to spell his name using words that we see a long the way. I can pull it off nearly every time but he likes to throw curve balls my way. Sorry pops, some days he does not want to be Anderson James Fontano. No, he has to be Walter just like Jack and will have nothing to do with James. Today it was Anderson James George Fontano that had to be spelled. George after Natty's turtle. He is a good boy. When I get him sleeping in his own bed I may love him even more. We're getting close.
Snow - we had a couple more inches last night so I did the rounds again this morning. It was great. Even snuck in an extra house. They were not home so I truly snuck it in. Love that. The LBH was still full of snow so I went to town there. Also cleared out some thick nasty scraped stuff in the road in order to open it up for customer parking along the curbs. That was actually a lot of work there and I did notice that I was starting to feel it in my arms. Hopefully we will be good for a couple of days.
Fleas - I was talking with dad today and he mentioned that I sounded a little down in my post from Saturday. This is "Housewife". That is a fair assessment, I was down. Just having one of those days when I didn't feel good enough. I went through a living hell for quite a while and when Rachel left I felt worthless. I had done everything I could to keep our marriage going and I failed. Actually I realized that it didn't matter what I did she had already left emotionally and spiritually and was trying to leave physically. Regardless, I looked at it as my failure, I was not good enough. As a result I suffer from some insecurities and I lack self confidence. So some days I struggle. Saturday was one of those days. I get scared because I am afraid of hitting my head like the flea in the jar. Go back and read my blog on fleas for more insight. Anyway, I am wrestling with a few things and it isn't easy. I have a hope in Christ though and I want to feel better. I know that He is mighty to save and the insecurities, doubts and fears can be overcome through Him. I just need to remember this.
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