So I got in to the second half of Temple Grandin this morning. Incredible movie. To any parent who has a child that is diagnosed with Autism at any level I recommend watching this movie. Here is why.
Your life is going to be filled with unique challenges. There are going to be times when you will feel like a complete failure. There will be times when you simply don't know what to do. There will be times when you weep because you fear for your child and their future. There will be times when you will not want to continue. There will be times when you will feel all eyes on you and you may feel embarrassed because your child isn't like other children, your child is strange and it is your fault. I have been there. These are feelings that I have experienced. I guess I shouldn't say will be times, rather there may be times. As I watched this movie I related to the emotions portrayed by Temple's mother. There are moments when you feel her pain and certainly some of the emotions I just described. At the same time there will be times when you may experience her joy as well. Hold on to that hope and never give up on your child and more importantly on yourself.
I might suggest taking an approach of learning. Look at the blessing that your child is in your life and ponder what it is that you are learning and will continue to learn from them. It might surprise you. Let go of the worry of other people and what they think. Know that you will be judged by piers and others and most likely it will be an unfair judgement. None of that matters. What matters is that you do the very best that you can. Know that you will fail but don't ever give up either on yourself or your child.
I had one of those special experiences today. I stopped in after dropping the boys off at school to thank Mrs. Coonan for the suggestion of the movie. We talked about it for a while It is an excellent movie. She told me about an aid that was working with Jack a couple of days ago. She reported that Jack had a terrible day. He kicked and carried on about something in a not so nice manner. It took a lot out of the aid and was a big distraction to the other kids. Mrs. Coonan suggested that the next time Jack act out that way that they just go for a walk. Well, the aid came back to tell Mrs. Coonan what happened. Jack went up to the aid and apologized for his poor behavior the day before. He told her sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. All done without prodding and completely on his own. I didn't even know about the tantrum until this morning. Mrs. Coonan talked, and I agree, about how smart Jack is to be able to recognize the poor behavior and to then apologize for the wrong and commit to not do it again. I know that this may be simple but alas, it is the hope that you hold on to. It is the little miracle worth so much.
It was a good visit with Mrs. Coonan. She loves Jack and appreciate that. She did tell me that she is going to ride on Jack's future railroad roller coaster. She has lunch with Jack most days and if they finish in time she will show him pictures of trains and roller coasters. He knows so much about both. It is quite amazing the amount of detail he just has up there. He absorbs it. Who knows what his future holds but I believe that he can do anything in this world that he decides to do.
A last thought on the movie. Temple Grandin was and is and extraordinary person. She advanced because her mom and her aunt and her teacher never gave up on her. She had to do things that were not comfortable. She has achieved things no one else could have done and it was her autism that allowed that to happen. She sees things differently. Really an amazing woman. Press on. Don't ever give up. You will be amazed at what your child can do. They may not all grow up to be Temple Grandins but that is perfectly okay.
In other exciting news, it is Jacks last soccer game tomorrow. I am sure he will enjoy it. We will do our best to keep him on the field of play. And the most important part of any game for Jack - the refreshements. Awesome.
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