Can't Stay Awake

It has been a full day and I just now had the opportunity to sit down and work on math.  It is a new chapter today.  I was hoping I would pick it up quickly and be able to knock out the assignments but I am way too tired.  I can't stay awake.  I've been working on the math for the last while and I can't make heads or tails of it.  Because I am so tired I am having a struggle.  I just need to sleep on it so when I look at it and practice it can begin to make sense.  Must rest. 

Stand In

During Sunday School I was asked to teach the lesson in Priesthood today.  Someone was out and President Blodgett thought he should ask me to stand in.  I happily said yes.  There wasn't a lot of time to prepare for it but fortunately I had listened to the talk that was assigned to the lesson a few times previously, the last time was this past week. I had actually thought a lot about the message of the talk when I listened to it this week and realized that I needed to act on the invitations extended during the talk.  I hadn't done it yet because it seemed like it was going to be way to involved.  As I went through the talk this week it struck me that it doesn't need to be hard but can be kept simple. This was a talk about pondering the scriptures.  At dinner we talked about things and we are going to start working on this idea of ponderizing the scriptures.  Should be fun.  Anyway, I was grateful to stand in.  I enjoyed the lesson and certainly enjoy that companionship that exists in the quorum.  Happy to stand in anytime. 

Follow the Leader

Andy and I went on a little bike ride today.  He was thrilled for this little adventure with just the two of us.  I was there to follow along wherever he wanted to go.  We started at South Elementary and rode around the black top on the upper playground then we went down and around the school to the lower playground area.  He showed me the cafeteria and talked about being a lunch worker.  I think he quite enjoyed being a lunch worker.  Anyway, we rode back around to the top playground and then we headed out and up 450 West and then made our way over to the track and football field at Cedar High.  We then went our and down 680 West which Andy referred to the tree street or something like that.  It is loaded up and down each side of the street with big trees that overhang and make a tree tunnel.  We ended up going down 700 and then back around South Elementary.  Andy was thrilled to be out riding together and I was thrilled to be playing follow the leader. 

Sometimes I Am Grumpy

So there are times when I get a little grumpy.  More than just a little grumpy.  I do my best to not sweat the small stuff but I am not always successful.  I had a math test today. I studied long and hard for that test.  I thought I had the material pretty well down and I think for the most part I did okay.  There were some mistakes I made on a couple of the problems that just get under my skin.  A simple step missed in the beginning of one problem cost me the correct answer.  That I find frustrating.  I don't know if it is an overall rule in math to simplify and then compute.  I guess I should find out and then look to simplify first.  That kind of negligence on my part stirs grumpy emotions in the depths of my soul.  There were a couple of dumb mistakes and then there was the problem I got wrong that caused me much anguish of spirit.  There was a problem on the test from a section of the chapter that we did not do. I am having a hard time with that.  If you test me on the material we are assigned to do in the class, the material I am studying and working hard to understand and I get the answer wrong, I can live with that.  When the question is one that we have not studied or learned or even been exposed to in our coursework I don't think it is very ethical to put it on the test.  That is my opinion on the matter. I went ahead and asked the professor why that question would be on the test when the material was not covered.  I don't yet have an answer.  It does make me grateful that the Lord does not work in such ways.  He judges us based on our own understanding not according to the understanding of another.  That is a wonderful thing and just thinking about it makes me want to be less grumpy.  

Learning

I had a long day working on reviewing the latest chapter in math.  I have to take a test tomorrow and I want to do well so I focused on reviewing and learning the material once again.  I went through everything and then hit the practice test and suddenly felt like I was looking at stuff I had never seen before.  Actually there were a couple questions that I was completely baffled by and don't believe I had seen these previously in the chapter.  It was kind of weird.  I will go through and review those again tomorrow before the test. There is so much to learn, so much to remember.  We will continue to press forward, learning as we go. 

Carry On

Sometimes I am so tired I don't know what to do with myself.  In class today I was doing my best to listen attentively but must admit that I dozed off a couple of times.  Not sure if I bobbed my head or not, there was no violent awakening jerk or anything of the sort.  I was very subtle when I woke up, slow moving like unto a sloth.  I did my best not to draw attention to myself.  Well, what does one do when they are exhausted but have a number of responsibilities on their shoulders that time doesn't stop for?  I do my best to carry on. It isn't always easy and sometimes I just need a power nap to carry me through. 

Not Good

Our drain line to the grease trap was backing up so I thought our grease trap was full.  It may have been.  I had it cleaned out yesterday and was shocked when I found the line still backing up.  I went down to the clean out and found that it was completely backed up.  That was not good.  This was last night.  When I opened the cap nasty water began squirting out.  There was a solid wall of grease build up.  I was shocked.  I have no idea how anything was getting through that pipe.  I had to clean it out.  It was gross and I looked and smelled like I had just thrown up on myself.  Disgusting.  I was there for quite some time and got the pipe pretty clean.  I was breaking up grease, digging it out with a contraption on built but I was unable to break through and have water start flowing.  In my attempts to break through the nastiness I got my contraption stuck and whilst attempting to break it free the extension pole came apart in the middle of the pipe.  I have not been able to get it back together.  The good news is that the water is now flowing through to the grease interceptor.  The bad news is there is part of an extension rod in the middle of the pipe.  I went back today and attempted to get it out but had not luck.  It is in there in a bad way and I don't know what to do to break it loose.  I tried a few different things with no luck today.  Very frustrating.  I guess I will just have to go down there and clean out around that pole the best I can every couple of months or so.  Not happy about this situation. 

Natty's Day!

My sweet daughter is 16.  I can hardly believe it and yet it's true.  How wonderful.  So I had taken some advice from Makayla, one or our employees.  She told me when she was 16 her mom had presents delivered to her in each of her classes during the day and it was awesome.  So I did the same for Natty.  I had bought her a guitar and wasn't going to have it hanging out at the school all day so it did not get delivered in one of her classes.  Long story short, I didn't get her first present to her first class because it was seminary.  She also had asked about her present before heading to school so I had her open it.  It was a t-shirt.  She seemed a little disappointed about it.  I got a text a while later asking if I had given her the beginning guitar book.  I told her I had no idea what she was talking about.  The next teacher gave it away but it is okay.  She was excited.  She was looking for a guitar but there was no such present in the house.  Later in the evening grandpa and grandma dropped it off.  When Natty came home from the play she saw it and was thrilled.  It was pretty dang awesome.  So happy to have Natty Sue as my daughter.  She is a wonderful young woman with a huge heart. 

New People

Our Cedar 8th Ward has grown quite a bit in the last few months.  We have had several young couples move in.  As the Sunday School president I have to staff people to work in the Sunday School and there are so many new folks that I know nothing about.  Today I went about trying to learn who people were.  I think we had some success there.  In Elders Quorum I was asking Kaden who people were and figured with his calling in the EQP he would have some idea.  He was in the same boat as me.  Together we managed to figure out a few people.  Later in a presidency meeting we were able to discuss some of these people and think about them in different callings.  It was good and I think we have a plan that will shake a few things up.  It will be wonderful.  I am grateful for these young couples in our ward.  Grateful for their enthusiasm for the gospel and their desire to serve. I hope that I display that same enthusiasm for the gospel. 

Always Something

Some think it is pretty glamorous to have a restaurant.  I was talking to a family friend last night who was in for dinner with his wife and he said that he had always dreamed of having a restaurant but let that dream die. He said it with a grin on his face knowing that there is a lot of work that goes into it and he was happy to have passed on that dream.  This morning I was outside a little after 9 loading up the pressure washer and heading to the shop do some pressure washing.  How wonderful.  I am trying to clean the outside exhaust fan.  That went okay but will probably be more effectively done when it is hot.  I then went about some shopping for Natty and managed to get some stuff put together for her birthday on Monday.  I think she will be well pleased with the gifts.  Anyway, I got contacted about a clogged drain and so I attempted to fix it, then I got called to fix it again, I went over a third time.  What a pain.  I went back in after we closed with some liquid pipe cleaner that was some pretty hard core stuff.  It seemed to work okay and then I tested something else and when I came back to it there was backfill from the other drain.  Not good.  It is always something.  Always.  

Repair Man

We have a couple of guys that come into the restaurant every afternoon for coffee.  They started telling me this week that our machine is having a problem and was not brewing a full pot of coffee.  It was nearly down to a half a pot.  That was not good.  This morning I had a little time so I took it apart and cleaned out some calcium build up inside the tank.  All looked well and I put it back together and tested it.  Well, I managed to mess something up because it wouldn't stop running.  The water just kept running.  I didn't have time to pull it all apart and figure out what was wrong so I shut it down and pulled up an old coffee maker from the basement.  I thought it was fine but then came in tonight to hear waitresses complaining and reports that the coffee guys didn't like the coffee.  It is the same stuff but I guess they have sophisticated taste buds.  Well, I couldn't have the coffee guys upset with me so I tore open the machine once again.  I isolated the problem and after pondering it for a minute I figured out what to do.  After getting the water up to temp I brewed a pot of nothing.  Well, it worked and the water shut off.  So I fixed the machine only to break it but then fixed it again.  It was a good experience.  Well, must sleep now.  Feeling way tired and it is now 1 AM. 

Last Day

Today was the eighth and final presentation in Annie Draper's 4th Period math class.  It has been a lot of fun going and participating in this program and teaching the kids about the brain and making connections.  I certainly picked up a lot of useful information from the experience.  It was excellent.  Though the last lesson was based on a survey or questionnaire and asking the kids how they liked the course I decided to put in my own material and shared with the students the lesson on fleas I was taught many years ago by President Armstrong while serving in South Africa.  I love it and I thought it applied to our study of the brain and the need we have to push forward when we make mistakes.  It was a bit rowdy today and had to do with their being a substitute teacher in the class.  The students were not as disciplined as they are when Annie is there with them.  Well, I was able to gather most of their attention and get them involved and I think they enjoyed learning about the fleas.  I've still got a lot of observations to do so maybe I will be back at the high school watching things.  We'll see.  Grateful for the experience. 

Netflix and What?

Natalie turns 16 in a few days and will be of dating age.  I don't know how many fathers are excited to see their pure and innocent daughters reach the age of 16 when the world of dating is at their doorstep.  I figure 23 is a much more appropriate age for such things.  Natalie often keeps me posted on trends and other things that are happening with the teenage crowd these days.  One day she told me about a hanging out activity referenced Netflix and other extra curricular activities.  It didn't sound to me like a wholesome activity that anyone should have their child involved with.  I however propose a better use for hanging out with Netflix and I even put it in to practice this very evening.  It is called Netflix and Laundry.  I think it is going to be a hit.  One hangs out with a basket or two of clean clothes and goes about folding said clothes during the time spent watching a show.  It is wonderful and I highly recommend it.  At least I quite enjoyed it this evening.  Who knew folding laundry could be so much fun? 

Back to Class

I hadn't had class since last Wednesday.  I had an online assignment for one of my classes and a paper to write for another one and then I had plenty of online math work to do but I didn't have to physically be in a classroom.  That was nice.  Today I was back in class and I was sitting with a lesson plan assignment that I simply don't know what to do.  It kind of sucks.  I am not real good at this lesson planning stuff so this initial one is a real pain.  It is also hard to know what is needed and because I really haven't done a legit lesson plan my confidence is quite. low.  The lesson plan I did do was not real great and was really only intended to show accommodations made for special needs students.  So I am not real excited about the lesson planning going on right now but we will press forward and try to learn a thing or two.  On top of this the math is out of control right now with multiple sections do everyday.  That gets to be very time consuming and very heavy.  I don't like those days and that carries on through the end of the month.  Dang it!  Oh well, I must carry on.

Back in the Saddle

I'm back in the saddle again.  That would be the school saddle and online math that really isn't an easy going horse that takes me for a gentle ride.  Nope, I'm pretty much a saddle bronc rider when I'm back in the saddle.  Between the fam, trying to keep up the home, trying to operate the business and then all the school stuff on top of that I'm getting bucked around pretty good and am just hanging on for dear life.  It was quite nice to be out of that saddle for a couple of days during the singles conference. Nevertheless we are home and life continues. 

Home

It is now 1:35 in the AM.  We just got home from Vegas.  I am worn out and am heading to bed in a few short minutes.  The conclusion of the conference was great and I truly enjoyed the day.  I would love to sit and write all the details of the day but I am barely functioning so we are going to wait on the details.  Let it suffice that everything was wonderful. 

Day 2

Day 2 of the singles conference was fabulous.  It is the Vegas singles conference so how could it be anything but fabulous?  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The workshops were excellent and I was spiritually fed in every one of them.
Hyrum Smith was the keynote speaker, he's the Franklin half of Franklin Covey. I can no longer say I don't have time.  I have the same amount of time as everyone else. Some things are more important than others and take priority.
The workshops I went to were Del Parsons, Eric Richards, Sistas In Zion, Tim Ballard (i might have his last name wrong) and then a dating experts panel.  Everyone did a great job and there were a lot of laughs blended with some powerful spiritual experiences. I did get to hang out with Karry Rathje for much of the day so that made it extra fun.
The dinner, concert and dance were excellent also.  I had a headache after dinner and so I went to the car after the concert to see if I had any ibuprofen.  No luck.  I took a little nap and then headed into the dance.  Loved it. I was wiped out when all was done.
Looking forward to the Sunday portion of the conference.

6 year pin

I believe this is my sixth time attending the singles conference in Law Vegas.  It is a wonderful conference and I quite enjoy being able to attend.  Big thanks to Jim and Clo for making it possible.

As per usual it was hard to get out of Cedar. My available time was quite limited and quite full.  It has been an extremely busy week and a fairly stressful one as well.  Anyway, it is nice to get away to this conference for the weekend.  Looks to be a great conference.

Off to Bed

I would love to stay and chat but I have had a fairly challenging week and a very busy day.  I am completely beat and I am headed off to bed.  Thanks for understanding friends, family and future posterity.  Life is pretty much running on empty right now and I was just trying to take the practice math exam but I can't keep myself awake or motivated for it at the moment.  Must sleep. 

The Perfect Storm

I feel as if I have encountered the perfect storm with our business this month.  We have had some major issues with a switch in our credit card processing and we are hurting for funds to start being deposited in our account.  That has caused delay on a number of things.  To make things even better we had our exhaust fan go out today.  These are really cheap motors, you know, in the $300 range.  It is almost as if it could go wrong this month it has.  We will keep pressing forward and do our best.  The hood won't be fixed until tomorrow afternoon so I am sure the cooks are going to be well pleased when they come in and find that it has not been repaired.  In this case we are at the mercy of the man who can do the repair and this will be the soonest he can get to it.  This is not my favorite time of year for business.  It is just a weird time that is hard to schedule and hard to predict what kind of business we will do. 

As for my other perfect storm I have a paper due in one class, a math test and then an online project for another class all due before we leave on Friday afternoon. Life is wonderful.  I am looking forward to the conference this weekend and a chance to just forget about everything else for a couple of days. 

Empty

I am a bit empty inside right now.  I am tired.  I am stressed out about the business.  I am having a hard time with the idea that school is going to take me 4 more years.  I am grateful for the opportunities I have been afforded in my life and am grateful to be where I am.  I don't know if this schooling thing makes a lot of sense at this stage of my life.  It is great but by the time I graduate I will be 46, nearly 47 years old.  What are the chances for a 47 year old to get a job in teaching with no experience?  I don't hire.  I don't know the ins and outs of all that. Am I just spinning my wheels with all of this?  To say that the time aspect of it is discouraging is an understatement.  I am in this class with all of these creative minds and I am feeling old.  It is all just a bit heavy for me today.  I am feeling a bit discouraged.  I am ready to go to sleep and I am feeling a bit depressed right now.  I don't know that I can push through this for the next 4 years.  I don't know right now if there are going to be adverse effects on my kids.  Maybe they just need dad and not student dad. When I am home I am not really home, I am stuck doing homework.  When I'm not doing my homework I am doing their homework.  Rarely do we have time to go and do things.  So in the end will it all be worth it?  The fact that as a single dad I am costing my children much needed attention right now because I am limited in my ability to give?  Am I being selfish and foolish or am I being a good example by showing them that education is important?  Would there be a more effective way of showing them that?  Maybe I need to throw on the gloves and go beat up the punching bag for awhile. 

Beat

I am completely wiped out.  I have spent hours and hours on math today and I have failed to certify.  I was a day ahead and wanted to stay that way but that plan has been whipped back.  I am just spent and can barely keep my eyes open at this point.  Maybe with a fresh set of eyes tomorrow I can get it done.  It is pretty discouraging when you spend hours and then manage to fail. 

Is it time?

I ended last NFL season hoping Peyton Manning would retire. He was not playing at the level he once did and it was painful to see this player who was once so great playing in decline.  He did not retire and came back to play this year.  His numbers this season were not real good.  There were times when his play was terrible but he was a member of a team that kept winning games.  They won many times on the back of their great defense and did just enough offensively to keep those wins coming.  Partway through the season Manning went out with an injury and I wondered if his playing days were now over.  They were not.  He came back in week 17 and lead the team to victory.  Throughout the playoffs he lead them to victory and then came today and Superbowl 50.  I was rooting for the Broncos to win and to see Peyton go out victorious.  Well, they won and it was sweat.  Peyton didn't have the greatest game.  His stats are not amazing.  He was not the MVP and he did not deserve to be the MVP.  Maybe it was the mental toughness that carried him this year.  He is one of the best prepared quarterbacks to play the game.  As his physical ability has declined he has remained focused and strong mentally.  And so he has been to the Superbowl 4 times and he has won it twice.  It isn't exactly how I thought he should leave the game, again my thoughts were that he should have retired last year.  I am thrilled however that he can put this final exclamation point on his career.  I say final but I may be completely wrong, he may come back for more  All I do know is that he is one of the greatest to play the game and it was a pleasure to watch him play.   

Good Form?

We had a group of 6 come into the cafe today and they brought decorations, a cake and their own liquid refreshment with them.  This was in the middle of lunch.  They requested we provide them with fancy glasses, they requested we refrigerate their cake while they had their lunch, they requested we provide them with plates, a knife to cut the cake, a spatula for serving and utensils for eating, they put up their own flowers, put some huge centerpiece on the table, dropped a ton of confetti hearts all over the table and enjoyed themselves a little valentines day lunch.  I don't know what planet people live on when they think it is okay to go to a place of business and throw yourself a party with your own stuff right in the middle of their lunch hour.  Who brings their own dessert, drinks and decorations to a sit down restaurant?  Am I out of line here, is this actually good form, approved by the masses?  Is it okay to do this to a place of business?  Well, they bought sandwiches so I guess it is okay, I mean, who wants to pay for the dessert we provide or buy our fountain drinks?  I understand people are all for saving a buck or wanting to do something special but I think it should be cleared with the owners of the establishment and not just assumed that it is okay to do something like this. It just seems a little weird to me, a bit inconsiderate.  Maybe I'm just bitter because they didn't share any of their cake with me and I had to clean up all their freaking confetti hearts plus I'll be celebrating the valentines day alone once again this year.  Oh, poor me.  Look, the short of it is this; we served them, we were nice, we met their every need but I don't think it is good form to show up at a food establishment with your own grub. 

What am I doing?

Had a bit of a rough day mentally.  It has been a long week, I am pretty tired and I have been wondering why I am doing what I am doing.  I am having a challenge finding my motivation when I think about school taking an additional 4 years.  I am going to turn 43 before next semester so I am looking at being 47 when I finally finish. It seems to far away.  It is not easy to be back in school.  The work isn't always the hardest but it is finding time for school and life/familial responsibilities.  Today for instance, I came home from class and went to work on my online math class.  I stuck to it for 5 hours.  It was not something I had ever seen before and I did my best to learn it. I managed to certify and get through the lesson and am hoping I don't see many of these questions on future exams.  I'm fixin to pass out so I am going to call it a night.   

Days are catching up on me

My days are catching up on me. I haven't even opened up my math today and was unable to do so until late the last two days.  Too much going on and my class is starting to suffer.  I've got to get back to getting it done early but this week has killed my schedule.  I am going to have to get it together now because I can't afford to fall behind on this stuff.  I will be completely lost and my grade will suffer.  I've also had to do homework with the boys every night and that chokes up a lot of time as well  It is difficult.  I am struggling. 

Tired

The days don't stop.  It is after 1 in the morning and I am just now getting to this entry.  I have been working on math since 8 with a 30 minute break for scriptures, prayer and reading time with the boys.  I am beat.  The day was such that I was at class, I was at work, I was at class again, I was in a meeting with Andy's teacher, I was in a meeting with Jack's teacher, I completed a survey with the school, I was at work, I made dinner for the fam, I had to run to the store for work, I was at work, I came home and I started working on math, oh, I almost forgot that I helped Andy on his homework in there as well.  Tomorrow I've got my workout class and then work and then presentation at the high school along with a meeting with Natty's CCR coach, then I go to class and then back to work.  I will have a story to write with Jack tomorrow evening as well as a book report to write with Andy.  I'm sure we'll have math homework to work on with both the boys followed by my own math homework.  I need a nap.  Time to call it a day so I can maybe get a little sleep before we start all over again.  The thought that I am going to be doing this for 4 more years makes me want to vomit. 

Tough Day for Jack

Today at school they sprung something new on Jack that totally threw him for a loop.  In his 9th period class he has the opportunity to do homework in a study hall class.  He loves it.  He works on his homework and then he can come home and relax without having to worry about homework.  It makes life much more pleasant for him.  They decided to start a program with him today in 9th period that they feel will really help him out.  Unfortunately that will not allow him to do his homework in study hall.  He had a major meltdown because of that.  When he walked in the house he threw his backpack across the floor, went upstairs and barricaded himself in his room and cried.  He said he was never going back to school.  The poor miserable boy.  I had to go to class shortly after and so I didn't see him for another hour and 40 minutes.  When I got home he was doing well but when I brought up the subject he became quite angry and upset.  I let it go so he could calm down.  We then talked again when he brought me his tracker that he had crumpled up.  I opened it to see that the program they are introducing him to is the Superflex program that he has already done for years at South Elementary. I think he is mentally done with that program.  He has seen it, he knows the characters, he is tired and all he really wants to do in 9th period is relax for a few minutes and then do his homework.  Well, this program is supposed to only run for a couple of weeks.  I sent his SPED teacher a message about his experience with Superflex already and his real desire to work on homework in that last period of the day.  I mentioned that Jack wasn't really going to use his flexible brain on this even though he knows all about it.  After I sent the message his demeanor changed and he told me he thought he could do it.  We got his homework done. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Hopefully Jack will have grown to accept the idea and will do better tomorrow.  Some days this can be quite exhausting.  At times I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and it is not easy to carry on. I just press forward doing the best I know to do and hope.  

Snow Day - No School

A little before 6:30 this morning I got a message that there would be no school today.  For the first time in 61 years school was cancelled because of snow.  It certainly snowed a healthy amount last night, quite possibly the biggest storm I have seen since moving here six years ago.  This is great for the area as our snow accumulation of the last few years has been dismal and this year we are at 162 percent or something like that.  I read the stats earlier today.  Well, I was excited.  I got up and went in to turn off Jack's alarm before it went off.  Somehow the kid woke up when I went in to do it and I told him there was no school, that it was cancelled because of the snow.  I told him to go back to sleep.  He was up! He was excited.  Andy also popped up with excitement.  I cannot raise that boy from the dead on any other school day but dang it, here we can actually sleep in today and these boys are up and excited before 6:30 in the morning.  What the heck?  I told them to go back to sleep but my words fell on deaf ears.  I went back and tried to go back to bed.  I lay there listening to Jack laugh out loud repeatedly.  Dang it.  Eventually I managed to fall back to sleep for a few minutes but it didn't last as long as I would have liked.  Anyway, I received notice around 8 that SUU campus was closed for the day so no school for me either.  Well, I had my online math class still.  We ended up closing the Brick House for the day as well.  There was a ton of snow and it was just going to be safer for our people to stay out of the elements.  We will be open tomorrow.  I think the kids enjoyed the day.  I certainly enjoyed getting out the snow blower and clearing some driveways and sidewalks.  Back to life tomorrow but grateful for a snow day.