Empty

I am a bit empty inside right now.  I am tired.  I am stressed out about the business.  I am having a hard time with the idea that school is going to take me 4 more years.  I am grateful for the opportunities I have been afforded in my life and am grateful to be where I am.  I don't know if this schooling thing makes a lot of sense at this stage of my life.  It is great but by the time I graduate I will be 46, nearly 47 years old.  What are the chances for a 47 year old to get a job in teaching with no experience?  I don't hire.  I don't know the ins and outs of all that. Am I just spinning my wheels with all of this?  To say that the time aspect of it is discouraging is an understatement.  I am in this class with all of these creative minds and I am feeling old.  It is all just a bit heavy for me today.  I am feeling a bit discouraged.  I am ready to go to sleep and I am feeling a bit depressed right now.  I don't know that I can push through this for the next 4 years.  I don't know right now if there are going to be adverse effects on my kids.  Maybe they just need dad and not student dad. When I am home I am not really home, I am stuck doing homework.  When I'm not doing my homework I am doing their homework.  Rarely do we have time to go and do things.  So in the end will it all be worth it?  The fact that as a single dad I am costing my children much needed attention right now because I am limited in my ability to give?  Am I being selfish and foolish or am I being a good example by showing them that education is important?  Would there be a more effective way of showing them that?  Maybe I need to throw on the gloves and go beat up the punching bag for awhile.