Mad

I know I did the math mindset thing and I know that it takes work and all that. I believe in the growth mindset idea that one can learn things.  That is all fine and well.  I am kicking my own backside trying to learn and understand math and I think I've done okay with this online class and be that as it may, I don't like math. It isn't that I suck at math or that I can't do math, I just flat out do not like math.  The math mindset program didn't address that.  Quite frankly I find it extremely frustrating and it just pisses me off.  I don't like doing things with math when I see no practical application to my life and right now I am finding it very difficult to see where the math that I am doing right now would have made a damn bit of difference in my personal 42 years on this earth.  People keep telling me that math is where the money is for teaching.  Well, that's nice.  I don't think I would enjoy teaching math, not even in the slightest.  What would be the point of becoming a teacher if I stuck myself in a subject that I don't enjoy?  There would be no point.  I have been trying to not swear but when I am working through some of these math problems I find myself swearing.  I hope the Lord can exercise some patience with me and some foul language because I have another semester to go in math and I dare say it is going to be difficult to mind my tongue.  Of course, that assumes I will pass this semester.  Not so sure about that right now.  I'm just mad tonight.