Crazy Visitor

Sometime around midnight last night somebody was banging on my front window and yelling outside of the house.  I was studying for the Praxis exam at the time.  It was a pretty intense situation that hit me suddenly. I didn't know what the was being yelled. I approached the front door and looked through the window at the top of the door.  There was a young man outside, probably late teens or early 20's.  He was tall with long blond hair. I didn't know who he was and couldn't figure out what he was saying.  All I know is that I was a little startled. I yelled through the door that he needed to take of or I would be calling the police.  He said something and then said he was leaving and he walked off. The dogs in the houses behind me started barking so I figured he was walking around over there  I did go check the backyard and looked around the perimeter of the house.  All was clear.  It was a tough situation, pretty intense  I did call it in to the police. Don't know what became of it but I stood guard for a while to make sure there was nothing to worry about.  All was fine. 

Crumbling

I think I may just completely crumble here before too long. There is so much that I feel on my shoulders right now and I don't know how to handle it all.  I have a mountain of stuff to get through for school in the next three months. Two major Praxis exams that I need to pass in order to get a teaching license and 6 classes to complete in the next three months.  I am feeling it hard core.  I've also got to finish a restructuring of the menu for the Brick House, deal with the financial strain of trying to keep the Brick House afloat, I've got to paint the kitchen at the Brick House, figure out a solution to the floor behind the bar at the Brick House, launch a few new menu items at the Brick House, deal with employee issues at the Brick House, try to sell a car or two for the folks, keep my child alive and help her to graduate from High School, help Jack get through a tough time he is having spiritually, help Andy make it through his last three months of practicing the trombone, keeping up with math and reading and battling with him every morning to overcome whatever mysterious illness he feels is coming on so that I can get him on the bus and to school.  I have calling stuff to deal with as well.  Somehow we keep pressing forward but I don't know that I can keep up with everything I am feeling right now.  I just spent the last hour and a half looking at part of the test prep for my upcoming Praxis exam.  I struggled through some of the sample questions and need to spend some time studying this stuff.  I cannot afford to fail this test - especially since it ran me almost two hundred bones just to sign up.  I will put in the work, I will do my best, I will rely on the Lord to give me the strength to carry on.  I don't quite know how it is going to happen but will just keep moving.  What else can I do?  I might have to go to Hawaii in June if I can make it through the next three months.  This year is going to test me.  It is going to test me big time.  Oh, I also have the Autism Conference to cater in the middle of April. Can't forget that. Can't forget SUU graduation coming up as well and the fact that my back end manager is leaving for 10 days on a little vacation at the end of March.  I need a corner somewhere so I can curl up in the fetal position and cry a little. 

Me and Mitt, old news

Last week we had a surprise visitor for lunch at The Brick House. Mitt Romney stopped in for lunch. He was in Cedar for other meetings but came in for lunch and an interview.  It was a political interview not a job interview. Anyway, it was pretty cool. It isn't everyday you get to make a sandwich for a former presidential candidate. I did get to visit with him for a few minutes. He was very nice. He visited with everyone in the restaurant that wanted to see him.  It was cool.  I did give him a brick of our fudge and told him it was for Ann. He said he couldn't promise it would make it home. Well, it was a nice visit, great to have him stop in. 

Thought I would just record this here for remembrance sake. It was actually on Nats birthday and that takes precedence. 

Sad Day

Today was a sad day for me. I received a new home teaching assignment. I will no longer be visiting the Scholes and the Arnold's. I have been home teaching the Scholes for 6 years. They are such a great family. I will surely miss being their home teacher. The Arnold's are also a wonderful family and I have been their home teacher for 4 years. I have loved these families.

I have also been given a new companion.  Kaden Leko and I have been companions for 4 years and he has been a great companion.  I was given the assignment to work with Kaden after his baptism. It has been a great blessing in my life to learn and grow with him over these last few years. I will miss that.

There are new families and new assignments. In another month Jack will be 14 and a teacher. We will be companions and that will be an exciting time.  It will be good.

Fly Boy

Jack went to a Civil Air Patrol campout last night and was able to go out on flights this morning.  He was able to fly between Beaver and Cedar. He loved it. I am asleep. Time to sleep.

The Shovel Work

Got the boys up for school this morning and found myself throwing on my snow boots and a hoodie and then heading outside to shovel some snow.  It was only a couple inches deep and was very light.  I got the drive and the sidewalks done down the street and half way around the block.  I also shoveled the drive for Tammy next door.  I am sure passers by had a good laugh as I was in my shorts with the boots on looking pretty ridiculous. Oh well, fashion statement aside, it was good to get out and shovel.  I enjoy that work. 

Had a busy day getting things prepped at Brick for a large group upstairs tonight.  Also got Jack squared away for his Civil Air Patrol camp out tonight.  He was excited to go.  I got him there just after 4 and there wasn't a soul around.  I pulled up the info on the interweb again and realized that it didn't start until 6. I thought it was a 24 hour thing and new he was getting out at 4 tomorrow so I assumed it started at 4 today.  Well, we had a good laugh that he was there 2 hours early.  We headed to a couple of stores and then over to the Brick House where I prepped veggies for the upstairs group. There were several things to work on in preparation and everything came together fairly well.  There were a couple of little problems but we got through them just fine.  All and all the entire evening went pretty smooth and I think people were happy. 

I did slip out to take Jack to his camp out.  He was excited to go.  I took something out to the car around 9 and found that his water bottle had fallen out of his backpack and was sitting in the back of the car.  I drove it over to him after finishing up at the Brick. Looked like he was having a good time.  Happy he enjoys the C.A.P.  He is supposed to get to fly tomorrow.  I am a excited to hear his report. 

Natty was home sick today.  Glad it was today and not yesterday.  No fun. Everything else seemed to go quite well today.   

My Baby Girl

I don't know how it happened. It all took place so quick. My baby girl is 18 years old. Surely am grateful for Natty Sue Bug and the tremendous blessing she is in my life. She has been called on to sacrifice and serve in our family and has done that faithfully. Grateful to be her dad.

Plugging Away

I have been plugging in numbers today as I work on a menu profit program for the Brick House.  We are updating pricing and building new menu items and I need to have good numbers in the computer for price updates and the like.  This will give us an idea of food costs and then the appropriate price to keep food costs at the right average.  One of the problems we are going to run into is that we have kept our prices low for too long.  Our costs have gone up considerably and we need to now alter our pricing so that we are more profitable and can afford to stay in business.  Food costs are very difficult to manage especially when there is waste in the kitchen.  I like this program however and feel like we are making some progress.  I am nearly finished.  Need to now run through and double check everything.  From the time I started this there have been a number of discontinued items and I need to get them updated with current items so that pricing can be accurate.  So much fun.  We will get there. 

Gotta Move

I've got to kick things into a higher gear.  I have 6 classes to finish by the end of May.  That is going to keep me way busy.  I don't know how it is going to go but I have to make it happen.  I was hoping to get one more done before the end of the month but then my month turned into garbage and I am likely not going to get it done.  I have 7 days left and losing a solid week last week didn't help at all.  I will do what I can and then perhaps when March begins I can get in and finish it quickly.  That is probably a better plan.  I just need to keep pushing.  Fun times. 

I also feel a substantial amount of pressure at the Brick House with some things we are trying to accomplish there.  Ultimately that will be a great thing. Right now it is a bit heavy but we will get through it. 

I have two major tests coming up as well. I need to pass both to be able to graduate and to be able to teach.  I have to prep for these and get them going.  Oh my goodness.  lots happening right now. I will just keep pressing forward the best I can.  There will be a little time for relaxing when June comes. Oh, there will be seminars to attend and other things so I will be occupied.  Then the fun starts in the fall with student teaching.  16 weeks of student teaching.  Yikes!  Hard to believe I am getting close to being done. Really it is only the beginning. 

Snow

Winter has been very mild this year. We have not had a lot of snow in the mountains and definitely not in the valley.  Today was a rare snow day and we have had a lot of it. That has been good for our area. It hasn't been overwhelming today but it has been good. 

Took the boys sledding tonight. Andy really wanted to go. Jack rode his bike over, really wanted to test himself riding in the snow.  On Andy's first run he went down standing up. At the bottom of the hill he fell and slammed his face in the ground.  He gave himself quite the shot and was seeing stars. He seemed fine so the boys kept sledding. He may have given himself a mild concussion. I'm sure he will want to stay home from school tomorrow. We shall see.

Good to have the snow. I think there will be more later in the week. This good. 

Storm Coming

11 years ago we had a pool installed in our back yard. It was a beautiful pool and we really enjoyed it. Natty could swim all day. Andy would climb in and walk around the shelf in his PJ's. Jack would have me throw him in over and over again.  There were a lot of wonderful times spent out in that pool.

On several occasions we would be out in the pool and in the distance we would see lightening flash. Jack would notice and would say "there"s a storm coming John".  We would laugh and the storm might even come by. 

Tonight the wind is howling and there is a winter storm warning in effect. We will see what that brings

Pains

My goodness it is painful for much of the day to be on my feet. My lower back is hurting on the right side.  My right leg is in pain for the most part. It is rather unpleasant.  It took me a while to get it to warm up which was a little better but I still have a lot of pain there.  Hoping to get to the chiropractor Tuesday.

Busy Week

This week has gone non stop.  This morning I was feeling it so after I got the boys off to school I went back to bed and slept for a while.  I woke up to make sure Natty was up and going to school.  She doesn't have to be there until 2nd period on her B day schedule. She got up and got it taken care of.  I went back to sleep after that and woke up a little after 9:30.  It was wonderful.  I got up and headed in to get the prime rib started for this evening.  That went well.  Ended up spending the day running around for the business.  I did get to run over to the folks in the late morning to check on them.  The night actually went pretty well and pops seemed to be in good spirits.  That was good.  It was a very rough start to the night last night and so we were a bit nervous.  I made a store run and a couple of other errands and then was back at the Brick and keeping things moving for the special tonight.  There was much to do with prep and other things.  Got a second prime rib in and got veggies prepped.  Took care of some banking in there as well.  I thought leading into 5 that I would be able to go home but then business got crazy and there was much need for me to be there helping out.  I think we put out a pretty good meal tonight and people enjoyed themselves.  It never fails to amaze me at how good Heavenly Father has a way that things can get done. I am grateful for that. I tend to stress quite a bit but then the Lord provides in a variety of ways.  Amazing to behold.  Grateful for all I have and grateful that I can go and rest now.  

Crazy Pies

We were asked to bake 100 pies for Boulevard Home Furnishings for their President's Day Sale.  I was baking pies all day Monday and today we delivered the first 25 of those pies.  On Saturday we will deliver another 50 and then the final 25 on Monday.  I still have 30 more pies to bake.  I hope they go over well.  Not my favorite project and we certainly didn't make any money on this deal.  They wanted us to do it for very little money and for the advertising opportunity.  Well, with the cost of each pie and the cost of the box and certainly the cost of my time we are not making any money on the deal so it is truly only an advertising opportunity that we are getting out of it. I don't know what that will equate to. It certainly is a lot more work than what I think some people thought it was going to be. Anyway, I spent a few hours this afternoon and evening folding pie boxes for the next round of deliveries.  I have a wall of boxes here at the house.  Got to be pretty good at folding these things, dialed it in. Fun times.  Tomorrow is another busy day with prime rib to be made and another round of valentines specials.  Good stuff.  Good to be busy.  

Prime Time

As part of our Valentine's special today we had prime rib. I spent the day prepping and cooking it and it turned out pretty dang fantastic. I used the 500 degree 5 minute per pound method. I had put on a butter spread made with pepper, garlic, Italian seasoning and a bit of oil.  The meat gets rubbed down with the butter spread and then salted, heavy.  After the cook time at 500 you shut off the heat and let it rest for two hours.  It turned out beautifully. I think those that had it thoroughly enjoyed it.  Gave some to the staff. It was quite good. Get to do it all again on Friday. It made for a long day. We had some success with the special. Grateful that things went smooth.

February 13, 2018

Another day is done.  I don't know what to say.  Just keeping busy and not with the things I need to do to move my schooling forward.  I am struggling. This is a busy time and getting in front of things is not happening easily.  I want to get another class done this month but it isn't going to be easy.  Too much.  Hopefully I can find some time and keep things moving.  Something always seems to be happening right now and that is weighing on me. I am grateful for the Lord and for his patience with me.  Grateful for the strength I am given to press forward and carry on. 

Miracle Worker

Spent the entirety of the day making pies.  It was supposed to be this fast deal with out convection oven at the depot.  It was not a fast deal.  I guess the only fast thing about it was that I could bake 16 at a time.  That was nice. The rest of the process was an absolute disaster.  I am not very familiar with that oven but I dare say the thermostat on it is not calibrated.  I was struggling to get the pie to do anything at the 350 degree setting that was suggested for the convection. It ended up taking me roughly 10 hours to make 48 pies.  That is only three batches.  I don't call that very good but by some miracle I managed to get it done and the pies were in somewhat OK condition when all was said and done. Nothing burned, nothing wasted.  When I was on my way home I stopped in at the Brick to see how things were going with closing. Makayla had baked 24 pies for me there and I found they needed to be wrapped so I started doing that with the help of Christa. 

Around 9 Melissa tells me that the fan in the walk in hasn't been running since the power outage on Saturday evening.  That is not a good thing.  The condensing unit was still running and everything was iced up. That block of ice was the only thing keeping that little walk in cold. We were quite fortunate that this was the case.  I made a call and left a message for my friend Morgan.  He called me back a little later and said he was just leaving somewhere and would be over.  He confirmed that it was dead.  We looked for a solution to the problem.  I thought about the old walk in refrigerator downstairs that has a couple of fan motors that both work.  I thought we would be able to make that work and at first Morgan thought we might as well.  Then he saw them, not a match.  The situation was getting desperate. 

With the motor pulled Morgan tried to put some lubricant on it and get it spinning.  It would spin but it was a bit rough.  We tried to cool it down for a bit in the freezer in hopes that once it would cool the metal would contract a bit. We hooked it up and though it tried to go it just wouldn't.  I thought my night was going to be quite long. As I would have to pull coolers and put things on ice.  I would have to rearrange the other refrigerators in the building and try to get everything into refrigerated space. Morgan went to look on the shelf at work to see if there was anything that could be used. He wasn't really hopeful but said he would go and look.  By some small miracle he found a fan motor that was very similar in specifications.  It had a slightly different design but he thought it might work.  He came back and put it in.  I turned the breaker back on and didn't hear anything.  I went to the walk in and found the new motor turning. I was so relieved and so very grateful for a good friend who was willing to come at a moments notice to give me some much needed help.

I am tired, I didn't get any of my school work done today or a menu project that I need to complete.  The things that were most pressing did get done and for that I am grateful.  I was sad not to be at home tonight with the fam. I called Nat and told her the situation and asked her to lead scripture and prayer with the boys.  I got home a few minutes ago and all is quiet.  I assume she took care of that and all are resting well.  I am ready to do the same.  

No Title This Sunday

I am without a title on this Sunday evening.  I will simply report that there were some nice things about the day. Kaden and I went home teaching this morning to the Arnold family.  They are wonderful.  Isaiah demonstrated his skills with Rubix cubes, Ethan showed us his pizza eating stuffed animal, Sister Arnold shared a great experience she had and she was in the middle of recording it in her journal when we came by.  It was a great visit. Home teaching is good.

Had Teacher Council Meetings today during the second and third hours of the block.  I thought both went very well.  This could quite possibly have been my last time teaching or leading the discussion in Teacher Council Meeting.  That would be sad as this has been one of my favorite callings with the Teaching in the Saviors Way program.  I know my time as Sunday school president is drawing down.  I have some things hitting me right now that might make that eventual release easier to bear but until such time I will continue to serve, happily.  We had some great conversations about teaching by the Spirit.  We looked at the parable of the 10 virgins and examined parallels between it and our callings as teachers.  There was a lot of great comments from both classes. In that discussion I shared some thoughts about how important it is that we add oil to our lamps, that we seek to do things in our lives that increase the oil in our lamps so that when we are called on we can draw from our lamps because they are full.  We talked about treasuring up the word of God in our lives and how this is essential to preparing ourselves spiritually.  It was a good meeting.

Grateful for all I am blessed with.  Sometimes there are hard things to endure in this life.  I am doing my best to keep up, and to stay positive.    

Changing Oil

Today Dan and I got some needed oil changes out of the way.  We had the CRV's to get done and so today we go them done.  It is good.  I am so very tired right now that my brain has stopped functioning.  I can't verbalize my thoughts and really just need to go to bed.  Grateful for that.  I really need to sleep.  Brain function is minimal and miserable at the moment.  

Fight for the Nat

It is a hard thing to watch one of your children suffer.  I have watched Natalie suffer through some horrible pain as she battles with anxiety and depression.  It has been an extremely difficult few weeks and she has battled with thoughts of worthlessness and of suicide. I have had her to the doctor, we have adjusted medications; I have had her visit a therapist, she is learning different strategies for coping and redirecting thoughts.  These are good things but there is more to it.  She is still struggling.  He medication may not be what she needs and that is the difficult part about medication. It becomes a bit of a guessing game as to what will work for a given individual.  I spoke with her doctor this morning and I contacted the place where she has therapy. I talked to her doctor about receiving psychiatric care, he encouraged that course.  I talked to the place where she has therapy because it is like the only place in Cedar that I found a psychiatrist.  They have one but he is rarely in Cedar.  The crisis specialist and coordinator I was speaking with today said it would be a few weeks before they could have someone see her.  That just doesn't sound good.  I decided to contact the school and see if there is something we can do to lighten the load.  She is struggling in math, she is behind in math and I think that is a major source of anxiety for her.  I sought out some options with her counselor and I think we have come up with a plan that will allow her to drop the math class, adjust her seminary schedule to release time, and provide her with additional time during the day for getting her work done.  This appeared to be a good thing for her.  She feels good about it and feels a weight lifted off her shoulders.  I truly hope that this will ease her struggles some and provide her with peace.  She still has much to do to get through the school year.  I know she can do it.  She had a better day today and we used some of her medication wisely and it helped her to cope with stress and anxiety.  I believe we will get her there.  I love that little girl of mine and pray for her happiness and well being.  Depression is difficult but we will press forward as best we can.  

Hurt

Had a conversation today that lead me to think about events of 8 years ago.  That was a very painful time in my life. Things were harder than I had ever imagined they could be and I was sad.  I was doing my best just to keep moving forward and somehow that was able to happen. Somehow I was carried through.  My heart was broken then, there was a lot of pain, there was tremendous sadness, loneliness, and feeling inadequate.  It was tough.  Everyday was a challenge.  Every moment required that I keep pressing forward. My children were depending on me to keep them safe, to keep them well.  It seemed it would be an in-surmountable task yet here we are.  There are still plenty of challenges and so we keep working and continue to try and progress. Anyway, reflecting on emotions and things that happened back then is hard. It hurts.  I am grateful for the hand of the lord in my life.  He has not left me comfortless.  He has helped me to carry on and I know that He will do the same for each of us. 

Refresh

We are taking a look at the menu at the Brick House and are going to freshen it up some.  There are some hard changes that we are going to implement and that will be tough for some at the start but ultimately it will be what is best for the business.  I might be wrong, and maybe we just need to keep a couple of items available that we are slated to remove, hard to know what to do with some of these things, hard to know who we might offend in the process. We will figure it out. 

In other news, the pigs are gone. Two of them are on their way to the auction tomorrow morning and the other one is out at Kiley's house and Dan will be slaughtering it.  I don't have any desire to deal with that.  Been there, done that with a pig before and I just don't want to put the money into slaughtering a d butchering something I am not going to enjoy.  I will just go and buy a pork roast or pork sausage when I want it.  I still have a freezer full of meat I hardly use. Rough. 

Jack and I put in a couple miles at the indoor track at SUU tonight while Andy was at scouts.  It is good to get up there and go. I used to go everyday a couple years ago but my knee started giving me major problems to where it was difficult to sleep.  I will keep an eye on that and try to limit my time there and supplement with walks/hikes and running on the elliptical.

Oh, forgot.  Had the eyes checked today.  It wasn't too bad.  I need reading glasses for up close stuff but should be fine with over the counter glasses.  That sounds good. Dang I am getting old.  The doctor did look at something with my eyes that was a little larger than others and used a very intense light/lens thing with a very bright blue light.  I know, this is a very official description.  Everything was fine, so no real worries.  He put some drops in my eyes, some yellowing thing.  First he put in a numbing drop.  It was pretty amazing.  He then put in the yellowing drops or whatever they were.  I was expecting to feel the dropping sensation from the second round of drops.  I felt nothing.  I asked, should I have felt that second drop?  "No, your eyes are numb".  Why yes, yes they are.  As I left my eyes were rather yellow/orange-ish in color.  Anyway, I guess I need to go shop for some +1 glasses to hang off my nose whilst reading.  

Making Progress

Was in a meeting tonight with the folks and Darin about the Depot.  Pops was actually sitting in his chair. He had been their for a bit as his PT was there earlier.  We actually met for almost two hours and then Darin and I helped pops get back to his bed.  He got up in the living room, with a bit of assistance and then we walked along side him as he used his walker to get back to bed.  He did great, got himself turned and positioned, then he sat on his bed, rested for a minute or two and then he got his legs up and laid himself down on the bed.  That was good work.  He is no longer suffering from the dizzy spells and his blood pressure, though not great, is not as low as it was getting a couple weeks ago.  This is good. Nice to see progress being made. 

Next

Had a meeting with my mentor this morning and we talked about what is next. I have some cohort thing I have to do for student teaching, I've got the Praxis exams to prep for and I have 6 classes I need to have done by the end of May. That's a lot of stuff. One of those classes has three tasks and that will probably drive me crazy. Well, I have a few more days left in the month and I want to try and punch out another class. I took the pre assessment for language arts or something like that. My scores were ok but there are areas that I need to improve on.  Well, that is what is next. Gotta push and get it done. Tired but gotta keep moving. 

Good

At church today we had our 1st Sunday council meeting in Elders quorum.  This is a new program this year for us and I have to say, this was very well done today by President Blodgett and I was quite moved.  I felt the spirit in the meeting and enjoyed the forum.  Sometimes there are things that lift us spiritually and this was one of those things for me.  Looking forward to these meetings and hope for more open conversation and counseling together.  Good men in the quorum and quite grateful to learn from them. President Blodgett is an inspired Elders Quorum President who listens to and acts on the promptings of the Spirit. 

Again

Day started out great. Thought all was good and then I got a message that we only had one cook... again. I went in and ended up working all day. I am tired of employees not performing.  I cooked a lot. Lunch and dinner rushes on a fairly decent day for business.  We certainly needed the business so that was good.  I am worn out at this point. Ready for bed. Grateful for Nat who took the boys out to 3 Peaks where they played around for awhile. Oh my, time to sleep.

Wow, long one.

It has been a long day. I fell asleep before I finished typing that line.  Oh my goodness, I am completely out of it.  Holy smokes, I am too tired. Can't keep my eyes open.  Ned to sleep. 

Too Much

I am so close to having this current class done.  I wanted to have it done last night but it just wasn't happening.  Tonight I made more progress but I am still not there.  It was a busy day today that had me running around trying to get a faucet fixed at the Brick House.  This has been a week of one more thing.  I don't know what else could possibly break but I am sure there are several. There was just a lot going on and so it wasn't until later that I was able to get back on the task.  I managed to get through the last section of the paper but I still have half of the second part and all of the third part to accomplish.  I am spent, there is too much going on plus the stress of the businesses and then getting employees paid, that is the worst.  We have been fortunate and I pray that will continue.  I must call it a night.  I am so ready to be sleeping  Must rest. 

Why?

I am sitting here, very tired, trying to find a source on what to look for when toilet training a down's syndrome student.  I am not finding what I am looking for and am really not having any luck whatsoever.  I am tired, I am getting a bit grumpy and agitated.  I need to step away from it and so I am doing so.  Need to just regroup and figure this out when I am not as tired.  Wanted to get this class done today but couldn't make it happen.  Hopefully tomorrow I can knock it out.