Still Pounding

Oh my goodness.  My head is continuing to pound.  I have moments of relief, I like those moments.  Not quite sure what is going on.  Does getting over drinking soda take this long?  This is day 8 with not caffeinated beverages.  I don't think I drank that many caffeinated beverages before so this is starting to be concerning.  Maybe it is something else entirely.  I might need an adjustment or something, perhaps the neck is not aligned quite right.  I don't know.  What I do know is that it is not fun and I am really hoping to be done with it soon.  What ever the case we press forward.  There are things to be done so we cannot stop. 

Other than the headaches I have had a fine day.  Saw my friends John and Lisa Nuccio at the Brick House this morning with their daughters, her mom and some other friends they brought in with them.  It is always fun to see friends from Florida and to remember the good times that were shared.  They live in Arizona now but they are still Florida friends.  Also made a run to the Temple this evening and enjoyed my time there. 

Well, I've go to try and stop this pounding or at least ease it.  Time to call it a night.

The Headaches

For the last few days I have had headaches.  They are not the most enjoyable thing to endure.  It is somewhat painful and irritating. It may have something to do with body alignment specifically in the neck and shoulders, they have been hurting as well.  There is also the fact that I quit drinking soda a week ago now and it could just be part of getting past that.  I don't fancy myself a big soda drinker but maybe the convenience of Diet Pepsi and Diet Dr Pepper on tap at the Brick House made it too easy.  I know I drank a lot of it over the last while.  Well, now it is time to be done.   Sometimes that is easier said than done and finding a cup of soda in my hand is a rather quick and painless thing to do.  I have stopped drinking soda a number of times and usually go through some sort of a headache period.  I am hoping that is all this is and that we will be through it soon.  

Life Keeps Coming

The kitchen is a bit of a breeze.  The wind just blows right in through the back door.  Actually, it is make up air being pulled in by the hood and it was centered on the back door since I blocked off the swamp cooler vent that was absolutely freezing us out.  I purchased some weathering stripping for the door jam but I couldn't get the adhesive to stick and instead of screwing around with it any longer I grabbed a can of foam fill and shot the gaps.  The foam expanded and the gaps were filled.  It was so wonderful to not have a breeze blowing in the back door.  Now the air is pulling from other locations like the basement.  Well wonderful.  It's kind of like life isn't it?  We find something we want to improve or change about ourselves and go about the work.  In doing so we find something else and repeat the process and then we may repeat it again. Our lives are filled with fine tuning moments as we constantly find or recognize things that we to improve or change.  Those things can be hard, they can be soft, they can be somewhere in between but they are there.  Life keeps coming and we have to keep moving. We can find peace and joy during that journey through Jesus Christ. 

Sammy Time

Had a little pie night at the folks tonight with the folks, would have been awkward without them, Amy & Dan with baby Sam, and Dan's brother Sam. Dave and Dani were going to come but the boys were not feeling well or something so they didn't make it.  Anyhow we played some drawing game that was pretty fun and then we had pie.  Baby Sam was out and about whilst we played.  He watched a couple of videos and what not.  When we finished the game we had some fun Sammy time.  It was a lot of fun.  We were all eating pie and he was helping to remove dishes from the dishwasher and then the bottom rack, no reason to have that in there if it's empty. He spotted the spinning thing in the bottom of the dishwasher and spun it in excitement. He was having fun.  We played in the living room for awhile and he was just laughing away.  At one point he walked out of grandpas room with a Reese's peanut butter tree in his hand.  It was still wrapped.  Everyone attempted to get him to hand it over but he wasn't falling for it.  Dan was going to retrieve it when Sam opened it.  We all laughed and Sam enjoyed Grandpa's Reese's Peanut Butter Tree. Full of smiles, full of laughs, we had a great time tonight. I did sneak in a stealth attack on Amy and threw a big bouncy ball at her.  Swift were her reactions deflecting the incoming ball down and away and right into Sam's face.  The fall flew off his face and into Grandpa's room.  Sam burst out laughing.  It was fantastic.  He was performing other great tricks like the fainting goat trick or the old smooch block, laughing the entire time.  It was much fun.  Thanks for the Sammy time!

The Back Row

Got an invitation from Amy and Dan to go and see Star Wars today.  It wasn't a personal invitation but an open one.  I replied that I was in if tickets were available. Tickets were not available for the original time they wanted but there were three seats together on the back row for the 4 PM showing.  We were in and it was fantastic. 

Baby Sam came along for the movie and though that could have been a distraction or problematic Dan and Amy had planned well.  They kept Sam awake all day and when the previews were playing he fell asleep.  It was excellent.  He slept for most of the movie and then was perfectly fine after he woke up. Not all babies in the theater were as well prepared but it was no bother.  I was just glad Amy and Dan were able to sit through the entire production without having to take Sam out. It was a movie you wouldn't want to have to leave the theater in the middle of.

I speak no spoilers here but will simply say that this was an excellent movie.  It was true to much of what Star Wars has been in the past and it paves the way for future installments.  There were new characters that were effectively introduced and existing characters that were powerfully used. The lady sitting in front of me was funny and must be a long time fan of Star Wars.  Every time an existing character, meaning a character from a previous Star Wars movie, was shown she would begin clapping. She was into it. I was into it but not to the point of clapping for every old character.  Anyway, I am excited to go and see it again and equally excited for the next movie to come out.

It is important to note that this is a movie that builds on what has already been done.  Seeing this movie without previously viewing the other Star Wars installments will leave you without a lot of back story and you will be lost.

Merry Christmas 2015

Woke up this morning around 9:30.  Yes I slept in on Christmas morning.  My kids are with their mom in Alaska and there is no reason for me to rise early to open gifts.  We did that a few days ago and I am simply going to enjoy sleeping in as much as possible until the kids are home and school is once again in session. It is wonderful.  Anyway, woke up to snow falling.  This is the second year in a row that we have had a significant snow storm on Christmas day.  Wonderful.  It is the second big storm of the season and we are grateful for the moisture.  We are always grateful for moisture here in the high desert.  It is wonderful.  It is needed.  We love it. 

I headed to the folks after clearing snow from the driveway and sidewalks.  We had breakfast, maybe we should call that brunch.  A little grandmas casserole, danish pastries and fruit.  So good.  It was only after we had eaten that we began to open presents.  There was only the folks and myself so it didn't take long to have your turn to open come up again.  It was a great time.  The folks took care of me once again with a few nice gifts. I have found that gift receiving doesn't matter a lot to me. It is certainly nice when my folks and siblings and friends think of me and I am grateful and humbled by their generosity. I don't go into the holiday thinking how much I would like this or that.  I don't expect to get anything and then find that there are presents for me. It is always very nice to be thought of.  Anyway, my joy comes in seeing my kids happy, doing things for others, and not worrying so much about myself.  What can I give has certainly become more important to me than what can I get.  With my limited resources that which I can give is greatly limited but I try to do something to share with others.

Anyway, Christmas is a wonderful time of year.  I am grateful for the holiday season and the thoughts of the savior that accompany it.  I hope more attention in my life is given to the Savior at this time of year. 

Christmas Eve 2015

It is hard to believe that it is already Christmas Eve.  This year kind of flew by.  It was busy, no doubt about that, there were some slow days for sure but the fact that it is Christmas Eve leaves me wondering where the time has gone.  Well regardless of time flying it is Christmas Eve.  The kids are with their mom in Alaska and so it is just me.  I was invited to the folks house for dinner tonight which was wonderful.  We had crab, delightful.  After dinner we played a card game the title of which escapes me right now.  Maybe it is called nines - ?  It has something to do with golf and it is quite a fun game.  I started out losing pretty well but then got things rolling and managed to win.  We all had a good time.  It was great to be there with the folks to relax and enjoy the evening. 

I certainly miss the kids at Christmas time but it is not something that takes away from us celebrating the holiday or the true meaning of Christmas together.  We read Christmas stories all month, we delivered some fudge Monday night and read the story of the birth of the Savior in Luke 2.  We watched videos about the holiday and so we enjoyed the season together. I think Christmas is more than an evening and a day.  Christmas has to do with Christ and our focus should be on him, not just in December or on Christmas Day but everyday.  So though it is not easy to have the kids away it does not ruin Christmas or take away from the spirit of the holiday.  We still celebrate together, it is just a little different. 

Down for the Count

Today was, well, a restful day I guess.  In the middle of the night I woke up with some stomach issues and was able to enjoy temporary relieve by launching out of both ends.  Does that say the runs and puking well enough?  I don't know.  It was not pleasant.  I went back to bed and was up then a few more times in the night replaying the same episode in the bathroom.  Fortunately by mid morning the puking had stopped, nothing left to puke I guess. I had confined myself to the bed and the bathroom and that continued for several hours.  Sometime around 2 I decided I needed to get some ibuprofen.  I was freezing, my body ached and I needed some sort of relief.  I didn't want to take ibuprofen without anything in my stomach so I made some toast, ahh, good toast.  I sat by the little furnace thing in the dining room and warmed myself up.  The ibuprofen has helped and that is nice.  I went back to bed and slept a few more hours.  It is now 6. I am up. I still feel completely noxious. I drank a couple of Gatorade's that we had in the fridge. Now we are out.  Maybe I will make a stealth trip to the store and grab more. My plan was to go and see the new Star Wars movie tonight but that isn't going to happen.  I am down for the count.  I'm really hoping the kids are fine and whatever I picked up is with me only. I'd much rather they are able to be well and enjoy their time in Alaska.    

Presents and Plane Rides

Today was departure day for the kids who are on their way up to Alaska for Christmas.  I just got home after dropping them off in Las Vegas.  This is not one of the easiest days of the year for me and I sometimes would like to assume the fetal position and weep for a bit.  It is hard to send your kids off. I know it is important for them to be with their mom and I know that she probably misses them terribly and longs to have them with her for Christmas and the summer time. I realize that I have them for the majority of the year and I don't want to sound selfish but I don't like to see them go.  It is hard.  When I walked into my house just a few minutes ago I felt its emptiness and that isn't fun.  Anyway, it is what it is and I will make it through.  I have made it through just fine for the last few years. 

I wanted to have some semblance of Christmas morning with them so we opened presents this morning.  I don't have a lot of money so gifts were somewhat limited.  They still did pretty good and were excited with what they received.  It was wonderful to witness their excitement and though we were a few days early the magic that is Christmas was present.  We had a fun morning. 

We had a bit of an emotional time driving to the airport and then having some blessings in the parking garage.  Andy out of the blue started to cry in the car and talked about how much he is going to miss me.  Jack started to cry partly because he was going to miss me but also because we were listening to a fantastic talk by a Hank Smith fella who teaches seminary and presents at EFY and what not.  Sara let us borrow three talks for the drive.  We listened to the first two on the drive down. They were fantastic and powerful and it did our hearts and spirits good to listen to them.  Anyhow, emotions were running high.  In the parking garage I gave each of them blessings and we were on our way again.  Everyone did well at the gate and then Natty got quite emotional.  Let me just say again that this is a tough day for me and for the kids.  I realize it is just a couple of weeks but it is a hard thing to put your kids on a plane and send them away.  It will be good though and I am happy for them to spend time with their mom.

Anyhow, I am home, I miss the kids, they should land in the next hour or so, we will survive.   

A First

Today I had the pleasure of participating in my first and hopefully last legal deposition.  This is from my employ of 11 years ago and wow, I don't have a very good memory.  Perhaps that is a good reason for keeping a journal or this here blog.  I don't have to worry too much about remembering the details of something in my long term memory when I record things in a journal.  Business dealings of one of our clients businesses 11 years ago are not things I would record in my journal and certainly are not things I have kept on the top of my mind.  The attorney for the prosecution asked if I was on any sort of medication that would hinder my ability to reply to questions and she also questioned my education and for the trifecta she asked if I had ever been arrested.  Well, isn't that fantastic.  She was a real peach.  Anyhow, it is over, it was not my favorite thing to do but it is done.  At this point of the day I am also done. 

A Zombie on Sunday

Truly the Lord does not want us to go through our Sabbath day as if we were zombies.  We drove home this morning and after a lack of sleep last night and an early morning We made it back in time for church.  That didn't turn out very well and I was nodding off in sharing time during the third hour where I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I went in and sat with Jack so that he would attend.  He is my one child that stayed at church today and I didn't want him simply laying around on a couch or in a corner.  He did good.  I on the other hand couldn't keep my eyes open.  Fortunately we sat on the very last row and I wasn't stared at, while I was awake anyway.  It has been a very tiresome couple of days and I am struggling. Must put off my zombie ways... 

Saturday 12/19 Salt Lake Trip

I was unable to connect to the blogger last night so I made some notes from the day on my phone with the plan of entering them onto the blog when we returned home from our trip.  Here are a few things we did in our quick run up to Salt Lake City to see the lights on temple square. 

The trip started with a few challenges with a Natalie schedule conflict and expired registration on the HHR which we were driving for gas mileage and because the Jeep is having some issues.  Anyway, we put off departure until Saturday morning.  I ran over to the local Jiffy Lube for a vehicle inspection and for their on the spot registration service. On a positive note the car didn't need the inspection this year.  On a not so positive note they were unable to get their system to work or recognize the vehicle information.  That was a bummer. I decided to risk it and we drove the HHR anyway.  The gas mileage was good, the car ran great and we had no problems.  Anyhow, our late start was made even later with this little fiasco but we eventually got on the road and then headed up to Jay and Sara's house in Springville. We were going to be staying the night with them so we went there first to check in and to hang out and chat for a while.  We ended up getting some Jimmy John sandwiches, Mack works there and it is right down from their house so we had some and enjoyed a bit of lunch.  This was only my second JJ experience and it was better than the first.  Anyway, they had places to be and we wanted to get up to the lights and so we headed out again. 

The game was on when we were on the road as Natty and I competed against each other three times in the classic alphabet game.  I won the first two and lost the third. In my defense I was driving in some hectic downtown traffic and was more focused on that than the elusive Z word.  Somehow Natty managed to not only catch up with out me knowing but also snagged a Z off a license plate while we were parking the car.  Bummer.

We started out on a quest to find the fish at the City Creek mall.  Andy really wanted to check them out.  It took a little bit but then we found their hang out and they were impressive.  Luck seemed to be on our side so we headed over to the temple.  We ended up sliding into the Joseph Smith Memorial building and we headed up to the 10th floor and looked over the temple and the lights from there.  It was a bit busy, pretty well packed but we were able to see it and enjoy it for a brief moment.  After that we attempted to walk around the temple and see the lights but the volume of people was such that we were simply marching through like cattle.  There was no time to look up and enjoy the lights.  It was pretty crazy.  After securing water from a drinking fountain in the visitors center, we left, jumped on a train and headed to the Gateway mall.  Natty had a store she wanted to waste a bit of money in so while she did that the boys and I tried to guess states on license plates that drove down the street just under us.  We were not very successful. After Natty finished her shopping excursion we headed to the food court and enjoyed some severely over-priced foot.  The food court at this mall is not that great.  We regretted not waiting to eat until we caught the train back to City Creek and checked out their food court.  It was a great trip though I wonder if there is a good night during the week when their aren't as many people there and one can enjoy the beauty and splendor more peacefully.  That might be nice.

Got back to Jay and Sara's in time for me to read a Christmas story.  I was drawing a blank but pulled out a story that I think is pretty good.  I didn't get emotional in it so that is a plus. We then stayed up and talked for quite a while.  So good to be with family. 

Change in Plans

We were supposed to head up to Provo today and then up to Temple Square tomorrow to see the lights.  A daughter of mine, not naming names but since I only have one daughter, so anyway this daughter of mine decided she had other plans and kind of threw a wrench in the schedule.  No matter, we will leave in the morning.  Though it is now the early hours of the morning and I am still awake.  Dang it.  I need to get to bed.  I decided to take advantage of the previously scheduled travel time and I went and took care of some Christmas shopping.  I've just spent the last 2 plus hours wrapping everything up and putting it under the tree.  There are still a few things I need to get but I am holding off for a bit.  Anyway, I am completely beat and need to get to bed so I can at least attempt to have us on the road before 11.  Yep, ready to fall asleep here. 

Ahhh fffffuuuuddddggggeeee!

I procrastinated as long as I could.  Today I had to break down and make fudge.  I broke down in a major way with 8 batches of fudge.  I still have more ingredients and could pull off a few more batches but I think I am done for this Christmas.  5 of those batches are going to be shipped out to the Arizona Scottsdale Mission tomorrow and the other three are all packaged up individually for distribution throughout the neighborhood to friends.  I has some help from Natalie on a few of the batches and that was wonderful.  Jack helped relocate some fudge from the kitchen counter to the dining room table  I appreciated very much their help.  It is a lot of work to do alone and though I have a bit of a system worked out it was much nicer to have Natty helping.  Well, I hope it is well liked by those we share it with.  It isn't always easy to express appreciation to friends and family and so it is nice to share some fudge with them as a way of saying thank you.

I do have to say that it is my duty as the fudge chef to sample the fudge and ensure it is high quality and worthy to be sent out to friends and family.  I can assure you that the fudge today was sampled, it was delicious.  Whatever left overs there were didn't last as the kids came home and took care of some of the scraps. 

Lunch Date

Had my friend Missy over to the Brick House for lunch today.  I really enjoyed spending the lunch hour with her.  I even got to introduce her to the garbage guys, Craig, Ed and a new guy Greg.  Craig and Ed have been coming to lunch nearly every Wednesday since we opened the place.  Craig likes to boast that he has a sandwich named after him.  Really it is our Philly but we add raw onions and banana peppers at the end.  He loves it.  These guys are a lot of fun.  Anyway, lunch with Missy was great. I even got to help push her car out of the parking lot which is covered in Ice after the storm on Monday.  It got scraped early but the storm was relentless and the parking lot is in bad shape now.  It should begin warming up tomorrow and then again on Friday. That should help the situation. Maybe I need to schedule more lunches with Missy when the parking lot is covered in ice, it will help me to look like a hero every time I push her car out. I shouldn't get too cocky as I would likely fall on my face and look like, well, not a hero. 

Completely Random

Out of the blue yesterday Jack asked me what dutch elm disease is.  I had no idea so I asked him what it was.  He said he had no idea and that's why he was asking me.  I told him we could look it up when we had a chance; we were driving at the time.  I didn't think anything more about it.  We were at the Brick House last night for dinner and Jack asked Hailey, one of our employees, if she knew what dutch elm disease was.  She didn't know either.  I think he asked at least one other person, maybe two but to no avail, nobody knew what dutch elm disease was. 

Tonight we were sitting down for scriptures and prayer and I remembered that Jack had been asking about the dutch elm disease so we asked google.  Google, true to form, had the answer.  Dutch elm disease is a fungal disease of elm trees that is spread by elm bark beetles.  A virulent strain of the fungus that arose in North America in the early 20th century has destroyed the majority of American elms in many areas.  Well, that cleared it up.  Natty asked Jack where he had heard about this disease and I expected it to be something he had heard in science class.  Nope, he heard it on the internet.  Just some random commentary about the Dutch elm disease and Jack was on it.  Wanted to know exactly what it was. 

Sometimes the completely random stuff that comes out of Jack is really interesting and sometimes I am left puzzled as to what it was about a topic, such as Dutch elm disease, that grabbed his attention.  It is fantastic.  The amount of knowledge he has about random stuff is pretty incredible.  I doubt he will ever need to ask about Dutch Elm disease again.  He's got it, locked in there. 

Snowed Out

Woke up to some serious snow fall today.  It pretty much snowed all day.  Seems to have stopped around 5 PM or so.  I was at the doctors office with Andy when it stopped so sometime between 4:25 and 5:20.  Anyway, it came and it came and it came and it is wonderful.  We live in the desert and we are constantly under drought warnings so snow is a precious commodity in the winter time.  We love it and we hate it but really we need it so we live in a state of understanding that it is so very important.  Whatever discomfort exists because of the snow we can endure.  What a day it has been though. My body feels spent from much shoveling.  I was doing my best to keep the front entrance at the Brick House cleared for clients.  Seemed that as soon as I finished clearing it I would look back over my work to find that I needed to begin again.  The old losing battle.  When Andy and I drove by after the doctors visit I thought I would stop and clear it again but found that it was mostly clear and since the snow had stopped falling we were good.  Seemed my shoveling was over. 

When we arrived home I was walking into the house through the garage and noticed one of my snow shovels in the back yard and some sort of snow splatter against the back wall.  I didn't want to leave the shovel in the yard so went to retrieve it.  Then I had the crazy idea to build a snow fort so I began throwing snow.  We have a couple of large tire tractor tires in the yard that serve kind of like soccer goals on opposite sides of the yard.  I saw that tire there and thought it would serve as the perfect door for an igloo so I started throwing snow to build up walls.  I threw a lot of snow and there was more than one occasion when I questioned my sanity.  I received a text from Natty asking if I was bringing home food.  I told her where I was and she came and joined in the fun.  I used cots to cover the opening in the top for a roof and then we loaded more snow on top of them.  So much shoveling.  What was I thinking?  The boys were excited to see it but they have not yet been out to it as we had to have dinner.  Anyhow, I think they are excited to check it out tomorrow.  In the meantime I'm spent and ready to pass out. 

The Jack Feels

Tonight following a home teaching visit I returned home and started a fire then sat down in the family room and turned on the Mormon Channel.  I started watching random videos.  Jack came and joined me and Andy came in for a bit as well.  We watched several of the short videos that pack a powerful spirit filled punch that will hit you square in the feels.  Jack seemed to get hit with every video.  He was pretty emotional throughout the hour or so that we spent watching the various videos.  I myself took some shots to the feels and really enjoyed the evening there watching and learning.  I am grateful for moments like this.  They are powerful and spirit filled. 

In our teacher training today we were looking at a presentation done by Elder Bednar and one of the things he said is that action precedes the power.  We have to act and then the power comes.  The children of Israel got there feet wet before the red sea parted.  Act and the power will follow.  Sometimes we spend too much time praying for the power to do something when what we should do is act, begin in faith and trust that the power will come.  I don't know why I mention this except that I want to be an effective leader in my home.  I pray that I can be the kind of dad that I need to be.  There is nothing wrong with that prayer so long as I am acting on those desires and striving to be the kind of dad I need to be.  As I act in a manner pleasing to God, in a manner that he would have me, then the power to be the kind of dad I need to be comes.

Well, it isn't the easiest thing to do but we do our very best.  What more can we do?  We go out and do the very best that we can do and we trust in the Lord that he will make up the difference, he will be the power that follows and we will be on his errand.  I know that by myself I am week and I fall short often of being the kind of dad and leader in the home I need to be.  I need to act in greater faith and trust that the Lord will provide.  He has yet to let me down.    

Meeting Mr. C

Tonight was the Cedar 8th Ward Christmas party.  We had to make an early arrival this year so the kids would actually get to meet with Santa.  Somehow we've managed to be late every year and have missed Santa so I made sure we were on time this year.  Andy was the only one that ended up standing in line and meeting Santa. Actually, I did see Natty further back in the line but I am not sure if she met Mr. C in the flesh, okay, maybe not the Mr. C. but one of his special helpers. 

An RC car is what Andy asked for.  Santa asked him what kind but Andy didn't really have a preference.  He would just be happy with whatever. Not certain we are going to be doing RC cars this year.  For some reason I keep buying this New Brite brand and it is not the best.  Actually the cars seem fine but the batteries and the charges are pretty much garbage. So I think the RC car is out unless we get real serious about it and buy a serious car and not the Walmart special.   

Anyway, we had a good time at the party.  It was good to see the many friends we have in the 8th Ward.  I was hoping to have a friend come with me tonight but she hasn't been feeling well.  Bummer.  In any case the evening was fine and the kids seemed to have enjoyed themselves.

Put it on Ice

The kids have been on my all week about going ice skating.  It seemed there was always something else going on making the ice skating activity a poor choice for other days this week.  Tonight the stars aligned and we were able to make it to the rink.  Natty has been a few times with friends and I think with the youth in the ward.  She is pretty good on the ice.  This was the first time for both Jack and Andy.  Jack seemed to pick it up pretty quick and did quite well for most of the night.  Andy struggled a little more.  We switched his skates for a bigger size and that seemed to make a big difference for him.  It was a good experience.  Jack had a couple of nasty falls on his elbow that left him with a rather large bruise there.  I offered to get out the ice pack for him but he had already put that elbow on ice a few times... no need to concern ourselves.  I did manage to get him a bit of pain reliever.  He took a little beating out there and might be pretty sore tomorrow.  Anyhow, we had a lot of fun and the kids are already talking about our return to the ice. 

Well Dang!

I had a pretty fantastic schedule planned.  Complete finals this week.  Study for the math placement test when finals are done and take said placement test next Tuesday.  I figured that would work out pretty well.  Problem: the testing center closes at the end of the day tomorrow and does not reopen until the semester starts in January.  Um, that is going to make it difficult for me to get into math next semester.  Well dang, the process must be sped up.  I began reviewing the review I did a couple weeks ago this evening and will continue that following this post.  In the morning following a meeting I will study some more and then I will head to the testing center and take this placement exam.  I am a bit nervous.  This stuff has not come easily to me and so rushing to take a test is a bit stressful.  Alas, it needs to be done. I have no problem procrastinating math.  It is one of the primary reasons I stopped going to school nearly 16 years ago but I can no longer allow it to halt my progress.  It must be dealt with, embraced, loved, and conquered.  Okay, that was a bit cheesy but what the hell.  I just need to get this part done, figure out where I stand and press forward. 

Crafts

Andy and I worked on his homework tonight and then we turned our attention to a couple of crafts.  Before thanksgiving Andy wanted to craft a headband for a turkey feather he had.  He wanted to do an Indian head dress of sorts.  We never quite got to it.  Tonight he found his feather and so we got some paper and made it.  Then Andy grabbed an empty 2 liter bottle and we did some stuff with it on the outside, put a little cloth thing around it that Andy had made with some gems and then he glued some additional gems to the bottle.  We then got some spray paint and attempted to paint the inside of the bottle.  He thought it was great.  It ended up being kind of weird.  By it I mean the paint inside the bottle.  It kind of stuck but then didn't.  We had replaced the cap and the paint built up in the bottom.  We could then swirl it around the inside of the bottle and it would line the bottle and then slowly flow back to the bottom.  Weird but entertaining for us simple minded folk.  It was a good time tonight just hanging out with Andy and crafting.  I don't know if I should introduce him to pinterest, he may get to excited and our crafting may become overwhelming.  

3:30

In the beginning of the year another student at the middle school told Jack that school got out at 3:30.  Jack let him know that it actually got out at 2:30.  For some reason this student has decided to make it a point to track Jack down in the halls everyday and tell him school gets out at 3:30.  The student knows he can get a rise out of Jack and so he makes certain that he does it.  Jack finds this quite irritating and he is tired of it. I guess yesterday Jack asked him what his name was and the student told Jack he was a butt and that upset Jack even further.  What was my joy this morning when Jack was practically in tears because he doesn't want to go back to school. He doesn't want to deal with this anymore.  I realize that "school gets out at 3:30" is a dumb thing and why would Jack even chose to be upset over it?  Well, for an autistic boy who see's things very much in black and white, the rules are the rules, it makes no sense to say school gets out at 3:30 when in reality it gets out at 2:30.  Does the young man mean harm to Jack by saying this to him everyday?  I don't know that he does but I also don't think he realizes that what he is doing would fall under the definition of bullying.  Bullying! Am I seriously saying this is bullying?  Yes I am.  The fact that the boy seeks him out daily to say this to him to intentionally get a rise out of him is a form of bullying.  I now have a boy who used to be up and excited to go to school in the morning suddenly not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to get ready and not wanting to go to school at all.  As a parent this is highly frustrating.  I have coached Jack on ignoring it, laughing it off or whatever and had hoped that this would stop the problem.  It has not. The school won't do anything about it because Jack doesn't know who the boy is and can't get his name.  So what do we do?  What do I tell Jack to do?  I have no idea at this point.  All I could do this morning was pray that Jack would go to school and prayed that this student would leave him alone.  I expressed to the Lord that I was powerless to make this situation stop but I knew that he could do all things.  Jack got on the bus, almost missed it but managed to get on the bus this morning.  I didn't get any calls from the school and he made it through the day just fine.  When I got home I asked him about the day and asked about the boy specifically.  He told me he didn't see him today and that members of his class were with him to protect him in the halls.  Surely this could be just a coincidence, we got lucky today.  I don't know that I will chalk it up to chance.  I prayed, Natalie prayed, we prayed as a family for Jack.  I believe the Lord provided a little tender mercy today, a bit of a miracle if you will.  Tomorrow morning should be much easier.  I pray that the Lord will continue to bless Jack like he did today.  I am grateful for the hand of the Lord in our lives even in the seemingly small things that one would think are insignificant like school getting out at 3:30.  

Finally

Took two finals today and it is now over as far as tests go.  I am quite happy with that.  One class presentation to do on Thursday and I am through with the semester.  Oh joy, roughly 4 weeks and we are back in for the next semester.  It's okay I guess.  I've still got to get signed up and I still need to take the math placement so I can work around the math class schedule.  It is an everyday class so that will be fun.  It's gotta happen so might as well bite the bullet and get through it.  Tomorrow I'll start some studying on that end. 

Natalie had a band concert tonight.  They played some great songs including a Star Wars themed piece that was quite fantastic.  Natalie really enjoyed playing that one and I think most of the band did too.  It was a good concert.  The Symphonic Band ended with a tribute song to Veterans.  It was moving.  Grandma had come to support Natty and Andy came along with me.  Jack didn't come because his legs hurt.  Andy might have enjoyed staying home a bit more.  He was certainly glad when it was finally over though I think I had to wake him up at the end.  Wonderful boy.  We had an enjoyable time. 

Training Lesson

As a Sunday School presidency we put on a teacher training class today during the second hour.  It was a good training.  There were good things taught and I believe everyone left uplifted.  We had based the training on a discussion Elder Bednar had about diligent learning.  He provides some amazing instruction there and it was great for the class.  Our hope would have been that more watched the video prior to coming to the class but alas, those that attended got to watch a portion of it and I am sure they will be watching the rest of it.  Powerful and applicable instruction for each of us.  I was happy to be there.  We will do it again next week with other teachers in the Ward that didn't make it this week.  Based on what we saw I think we will be doing this more regularly.  President Rowley of the Stake Sunday School Presidency was there and said it was great and that we need more of this.  I'll take that as a green flag to move forward.  The reality is that it is part of our responsibility to train teachers so we are excited to do that.  I welcomed everyone and then turned the time over to Jake Whetman to lead the training.  He did a fantastic job.  Grateful to serve and for the men I get to serve with. 

Mind Games

The cold hard facts are that I have not been in a serious relationship with a woman since my divorce.  I had a mild relationship with a gal for a bit, it was 5 years ago. We held hands a couple of times.  She is wonderful but it just wasn't going to happen.  I never really got anything else going.  I've had lady friends and I have gone on some dates but never anything serious.  I think I also have a problem of being scared of something advancing so I tend to not get overly involved.  That is all fine and well and then I found myself this morning wondering what I was doing after going on a few dates with this gal. It was suddenly a bit scary.  Look, she is a great gal and I like her, I just start to get myself freaked out.  What if I continue to pursue?  Will I rub her the wrong way?  Is it too much? By that I mean it isn't just me.  I am a packaged deal.  Will I end up getting rejected?  I think that is the question that scares me the most.  Rejection.  So hard.  What kind of wrench will this throw into my life and how can I even manage it with everything else I have going on.  This stuff is a bit frightening.  I don't know how to deal with it.  Obviously dating someone is not the same as getting married to someone.  Well, crap, I am just rambling on here. Let me just say that I am struggling with how to proceed.  It could be fear of the future or it could be fear of a relationship in general.  Well, suffice to say I am not giving up.  I will continue to pursue with purpose and see what comes of things.  I most certainly will have to be brave. 

Done

I say done but the reality is that there is still a few more things to do.  I have two finals to complete, fortunately both are take home, one online and one not.  I still have a class presentation to participate in but that isn't until next Thursday. 

We had our debate today and it went well.  I was last to go.  Had a couple of gals that sit in front of me in class, they are from Vegas and we've gotten to know each other over the course of the semester.  Anyway, when I got up they held up a sign that said "go John".  I laughed inside but had to keep it together as I was fixing to deliver.  I had a big laugh from the class when I put up the stone tablets.  I think it worked effectively. I felt good about the presentation.  There were some nerves but I think that is normal. I kept it together.  Our team managed to win.  I don't know that this was too difficult of a win because the majority already agreed with our position.  I thought it might go the other way but it didn't.  Glad that is over..

It feels good to be done with regular class.  I am quite glad to be almost done with everything. Well, for this semester anyway. 

The Battle Continues

I spent the day trying to get as much done as I could for school.  I took two finals, completed and  submitted a wonderful report about learning to box, went to a group project meeting that I hosted at the Brick House, cut out and painted stone tablets as part of my debate, edited my debate and wrote my rebuttal and then I have practiced and timed it over and over again.  Sometimes I am fast and sometimes I am a little slow.  Hopefully tomorrow I am spot on.  And so the battle continues.  I will be so very grateful when it is over.

In other news, I set up the Christmas tree and added some functioning lights.  I let the kids take care of the ornaments which they did while I was at my group project meeting.  They did a fabulous job.  We are definitely a step ahead of last year.

Well, I must go and check on my stone tablets and then try to get some sleep tonight.  

Thanks Mike!

The last post was for a school assignment and so I will not count that as my post for today.  I suppose I could as it gives some indication as to what my day included.  I actually think that may be the last assignment for my online computer class and for that I am truly grateful.  And now, let me switch gears to another assignment. Last night I made mention of a debate I am involved with for one of my classes.  I asked Mike to share some thoughts about his time with Grandma Vi before she passed. I was truly touched by the thoughts he recorded. It is beautiful.  I want to keep record of this experience and this lesson in charity and humility and so I share it here and express my gratitude to Mike for his words. 

How caring provides for growth and learning

I didn't do much for Grandma Vi before her death.  She seemed to have everything in order and a routine that she followed.  I really only lived with her for about 3 weeks before she went back into the hospital.  I was in Salt Lake for the 2002 Olympics and had been working the graveyard shift, so my schedule was limited in interacting with her.  I was usually falling asleep about the time she was getting things going upstairs.  I would talk with her a bit before I went to work at night and would help out with things that she needed to have done.  I didn't have a very strong relationship with her prior to this, I think I was even reluctant to ask her to live there, but it was good to help.  One morning when I had come home, I heard her fall upstairs.  I went up to see that she had fallen on the way to the bathroom.  She didn't really seem to know who I was, but I helped her up and took her back to her bed.  She threw up in a way I can only describe as cartoonish - it was a solid tube of greenish looking puke that just came out of her (it was due to the drugs she took for her cancer treatment, that's why it was green).  I was always reluctant to help other people, thinking an expert should be the go to person.  I was a bit surprised I was able to jump in and help ease her suffering, even just for a little bit.  I thought I was nauseated by other people throwing up, but I held the trash can for her when she puked, and I even helped clean her up.  When she fell she had cut her arm - I cleaned that up and bandaged her up.  I was able to put her back to bed and waited until she fell back asleep.  I proceeded to clean up her bathroom from the blood, take care of the trash, and make sure she was okay.  Because she fell back asleep, I thought she was okay.  I would usually wake up some time in the afternoon to the sound of hear her walking around or watching TV.  That afternoon she hadn't, so where I would usually go back to sleep, I noticed she wasn't up, so I got out of bed and went to check on her.  She was much worse than before, so I called my aunt to come check on her.  The ambulance came and she died a short time later.   

I don't know that I'm a great example of what to do in times like that.  I did learn that my love for my grandmother was such that I could help her in ways that I didn't think I would be able to - ways that I would never want to.  I realized that my love for my grandmother was greater than the notions I had been harboring up to that point in my life.  I had always felt like she didn't really like me that much, but in those moments it didn't matter and my love for her grew so much from that experience.  Helping the helpless taught me a lot more about myself then it did about my grandmother.  The idea not to burden others with the troubles that come from a person who is dying seems like we are actually taking away the opportunity for people to grow, not in skills of helping or aiding, but in their capacity to love others; they are bypassing the opportunity for their personal growth.  It really was an experience like the Grinch, when his heart grew.  I learned so much more about me in those moments that I feel like I'd be willing to do it all over again.

My Thoughts on Web 2.0

They say Web 2.0 is no longer about reading websites, but writing blogs.  I guess I am fully engaged in Web 2.0.  I am writing this for an assignment at school.  The assignment involved writing this on an SUU blog hosted on WordPress.  I'm more of a blogger guy myself so I came here.  Actually, the link provided is not working. I've tried to complete the task repeatedly for the last 15 minutes but I keep getting the same reply.  I'm tired.  It is the end of the semester and I don't have any more time to play with this so I am using my personal blog.  I suppose I will not get the points that I am hoping for and that is okay.  In the end I've done the assignment and I've posted it in my very own blog. Obviously I beleive in this thing they call Web 2.0.  Well some of it.  I have this here blog and I have a Facebook page, oh I also use gmail, truly I am caught in the Web 2.0.  I have my limits though, I don't care to tweet, I've turned down hundreds of invitations to get linked in and there isn't a lot else that I engage in. I do have to say that I like the explanation of how blog came from Web-log.  I didn't know that and sometimes wondered about it. Nice to put that to rest.  Hey look, a picture.  It's a screen shot of the message I keep receiving.  I realize that this is a bit extra and not necessarily required in the assignment but I thought I would include it for good measure. 



 I must say that the digital dossier video that is linked in the first sentence of the previous paragraph is rather eye opening.  Wow.  There is certainly a lot of information about oneself out there. I suppose we should be careful with what we share.  I do find it amusing that when I search for something like sheds for instance, suddenly my Facebook feed becomes cluttered with advertisements for sheds. Pretty amazing that all that just happens.  I don't know that I am a big fan of every purchase being tracked and everything else I've done being recorded, not that I have anything to hide, it just seems a bit invasive.  And yet here I am typing this on my own blog page where I put things out there for all to see anyway.  I guess the difference is that I don't make money off what I post but others seem to profit off my activities.  Feel free to spread the wealth.  If I am providing all this excellent material I should be getting some sort of a kick back.