The Single Parent

Some of you may remember my post from Father's Day. I shared the story of the High Council rep who spoke in the Ward and said a few things that would make any single parent or divorced father feel that they had no hope. Regardless of how hard they tried they would never be a good parent and their children were destined to fail. It was certainly an interesting father's day for me with the kids gone to Alaska and me being home alone. So there I was missing my kids and the gauntlet was dropped. I actually think I took it okay, really I tuned it out after a while as I really can't let it affect me or slow me down. I have to keep doing the very best I can do and not listen to those that will tell me that it cannot be done. I probably don't need to quote these next few lines but I will:

there are thousands to tell you it cannot be done
there are thousands to prophesy failure
there are thousands to point out to you one by one
the dangers that wait to assail you
but just buckle right in with a bit of a grin
just take off your coat and go to it
just start to sing as you tackle the thing
it cannot be done, and you'll do it

That is the last verse of my all time favorite poem It Couldn't Be Done by Edgar Guest. Perhaps we learn certain things early in our lives because they end up being something that will carry us through difficult times or challenging circumstances. I cannot help but think that this poem that I have known for 24 years has served as a strength to me in the course of my life. Our lives are filled with experience and as we look beyond the surface we will find that there is growth opportunity in each of them. There are lessons taught, our own personal parables. In each we have choice, we can use them to better ourselves and draw nearer to the Savior or we can choose a different direction. The beauty of it is that we have choice.

The High Counselor visited the Little Brick House this week and I sold him lunch and made him a sandwich. I don't know that I will ever share with him my thoughts regarding his talk, perhaps if I am ever moved to do so then I will. No matter, at this point I can simply press forward in those things that I need to do.

I was blessed today to have the opportunity to teach the Elders. Our instructor was out of town as were both President Fawson and Todd Allen. Cameron Brown was here for the last time before moving to Oklahoma and I didn't feel to spring this on him last minute so I took it. The lesson was #37 Family Responsibilities in the Gospel Principles manual.

Let me state my personal feelings that the optimal situation in any home is exactly what is stated in The Family, A Proclamation to the World.

The Family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I never imagined that I would be in the position of being a single parent. I believe fully that there are specific roles for both fathers and mothers in the home and I humbly submit that there are things that my children are missing in their lives because they do not have mother in the home. I hurt for that loss and I look forward to a day when I will find the right person for me and for them and our home will be whole. Today we don't enjoy that blessing. It is my belief that as we are honestly seeking to do what is right and striving to have the Spirit in our lives and in our home that the Lord does not leave us or abandon us. We are not doomed to failure. The statistics that the High Counselor shared were just that, statistics. I don't know the hearts of those that were studied or that took part. I don't really care. What I care about is doing the very best that I can do and trusting in the Lord to help with the rest. I have shared that that help and those miracles come in many different ways and through many different people. I believe that his is in harmony with the leadership of the Church. In the lesson referenced it says the following:

...with guidance from the Lord and help from family members and the Church, single parents can successfully raise their children.

I am grateful for that little line in the lesson. I am grateful for my testimony of a loving Savior. I have felt his hand in my life and have experienced miracles beyond measure throughout this time of trial. I have watched my children closely and have witnessed their growth. I can say that it is not easy and it takes a lot of work. I cannot do it alone that is for sure. I rely heavily on exactly what the Church stated - guidance from the Lord, help from family members and help from the Church. What a wonderful message of hope that provides.

I would submit that this lesson provides an excellent blue print. I was moved in reading through the lesson and studying some of the scriptural passages. In the section on the Responsibilities of the Father there is a discussion about the fathers need to spend time with each child individually. It references some good examples as found in the Book of Mormon. In 2 Nephi 1:14 - 3:25 we read about Father Lehi's counsel and blessings to his children and in Alma 36 - 42 we read the counsel Alma gave to his sons. I reviewed these chapters with a slightly different perspective this time and considered these passages as a fathers interview or PPI. I was moved by the way these righteous men taught the gospel to their sons. It was pure and it was amazing. I was a bit on the emotional side as I tried to identify with these fathers teaching their children and wanting the best for them. Anyhow, I recommend reviewing these in that perspective. Certainly inspiring and makes me want to do a better job.

I love my little family. I am missing them and looking forward to next week when they come home. That will be a great day. I sent a pic of Donovan Jack that I took at the house today. I told the kids that he wanted to say hi. I got a pic back of Jack on the couch with a lego truck he had made. He was looking good. Donovan liked it too and gave it a slobbery kiss. I wrote that note to Jack and he just laughed. Fun stuff.

Had some fun with Jermaine, Abster and Benny Hana today. Love those kids. Also had a chance to visit with Tara. So glad they came up. Little Jeremy turned on the tears when it was time to go and then everybody was crying. That's okay Jeremy. I am pretty sure I was crying when we pulled out from your house in Houston last May when we were moving across the country. I think it just has something to do with family.