Who am I really? Am I like the first son that said no I won't do it and then repented and went and did it or the second son who said I will do it and then did not? Am I a man of outward appearances whose heart is far from the Lord? I don't know. I struggle to do everything that I am supposed to do. I try everyday but I fall short in so many areas. I want to do good and I put forth effort in that regard everyday but I also know that I fail everyday and I come up short of who I want to be. Can I say that the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak? The Gospel Doctrine lesson touched on this today and so I have pondered this some. I know the Lord knows my heart, he knows my intentions, he also knows my struggles and my failings. I am grateful for the Atonement and for what it makes possible. I recognize my great need for the Savior and I am grateful for all he has done and does for me.
I am struggling some today knowing that Rachel should get here tomorrow sometime after 9 PM. I am sad as my best friends are going to be gone for the next two months. My kids mean everything to me and I have had some tough moments today. I worry about them but I have faith that they will be okay. I gave them all blessings tonight and am grateful for that experience. At the moment they are all camped out in the living room though I am certain Andy will make his way into my bed at some point in the night. I love them.
Well, who am I really? I hope my outward appearance is a true reflection of who I am in my heart. I hope that I conduct myself in a manner that is pleasing to my Heavenly Father. I know that I can be offensive, I know that I do things that probably don't make a lot of sense to other people. I am sorry to those that I hurt or offend. Anyhow, I want to do what is right. I want to be a righteous priesthood holder. I have hope in the Savior and I trust in Him. I am a son of God and I want to live up to his expectations of me.
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