Do You Ever Feel Like You've Failed the Lord...

Fifth Sunday of the month and we were in a combined Priesthood and Relief Society Meeting.  The Bishopric had the lesson today and Bro. Garfield lead off.  It was from President Uchtdorfs address in the Womens Conference in October of last year.  Perhaps that was actually September as it is the weekend before General Conference.  Anyhow the question was asked "Do you ever feel like you've failed the Lord?  I would have to say that yes I have, multiple times.  I fall short of the example of the Savior all the time.  I don't necessarily feel like a failure every time I fall short but I really felt the pangs of failure when I was divorced.  That was a painful experience and not one I thought I would ever encounter in my life.  It happened.  I remember vividly walking up to the church building in Lakeland with the kids and struggling to want to go in.  It was hard.  I thought it would be much easier to simply walk away.  I was ashamed, embarrassed and most certainly thought I had failed the Lord and failed my family.  Does the Lord see it that way?  Does the Lord want me to beat myself up for doing the very best I could do in a very difficult circumstance?  Would the Lord desire that I not enter the building, that I not draw on Him for strength to carry on?  No.  The Lord wanted me there and He stands with His arms outstretched beckoning for us to come unto him.  His call is to the down-trodden, the lowly in heart, those that need the physician.  That healing process took time for me and is ongoing.  I struggled for months to feel like I belonged at church, like I had something to offer.  In my mind I carried the burden of failure and the adversary made sure I was aware of that.  After several months of prayer and fasting, struggling to feel of worth the clear impression came to my mind "I gave you these experiences for a reason, you need to share".  I don't know that I have great words of wisdom or something profound to share.  I do have a testimony of the Savior and of His love for each one of us.  He knows who we are.  He knows are struggles.  He knows our failings and he knows them better than anyone.  He knows our pain, our shame, our guilt, our struggle.  He stands with stretched out hands and beckons to us to come unto Him.  I know He loves us even when we feel we have failed Him.  We don't fail when we continue to trust in Him and come unto Him especially when we feel unworthy to do so.  Don't leave, don't give up, don't quit.  Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ. He is mighty to save.