Monday, June 1, 2015

Tying Shoes

Jack is 11 years old.  He doesn't tie his own shoes.  In fact we don't get him shoes that require tying because he simply refuses to do it.  I'm sure it is a motor function with the hands that frustrates him tremendously.  I decided the other day that it is time for him to bite the bullet.  I tried with some of my boots that we could just stand behind and go through the process.  He watched intently and then it was his turn.  He held the laces for a second and then said no way and left.  Well, it is time regardless so I talked to him about getting some shoes for hiking that would require him learning how to tie.  We picked up a pair tonight and we went to work.  We both took a shoe in our laps and he followed my lead.  As he is not used to the process there were some struggles but he stuck with it.  He wanted to quit a few times but I just kept encouraging.  Well, together we got it done.  I gave him high fives and expressed some serious excitement about his accomplishment.  We tried again.  I told him he would eventually need to tie the shoe while it was on his foot.  He decided to put it on his foot right then.  I told him that was probably a very good idea because it would make it much more difficult for him to throw the shoe across the room when he got frustrated.  He thought that was hilarious.  We got through it again with a little less help.  We tried again and accomplished it again with even less help from me.  For the final attempt of the night I kept my hands clear of the laces.  He went through the steps we were following and he got it done.  I continued to show my excitement and positive reinforcement for his efforts.  We will try again tomorrow.  I realize that 11 is pretty old to learn how to tie a shoe.  Perhaps this could have been learned earlier in life but we were dealing with other issues that were a little heavier than tying a shoe.  I am not an expert on autism I just do my best to help my son and my other children progress at their pace and in their way.  The coping skills that Jack has developed over the last several years are phenomenal and I am happy to watch him press forward through things that have traditionally been a great struggle.  Tying shoes, a mountain that has become a mole hill.  We'll get past it.    

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