Sometimes life gets old. Is that okay to say? Dang it. Sometimes I grow tired. Sometimes I struggle. I don't know how to get my kids on board with work on a consistent basis and I get tired of trying to find new and creative ways to get them involved in doing. It is easier to just do it all myself and then I get to a point of frustration. It gets old when you are constantly doing, most times alone, most times with no thanks at all and usually with complaints because I did something wrong. Not only that but the body is hurting right now which only adds to the frustration. I can't stop doing because I hurt or because I don't feel well or because I am frustrated to the point where I just want to crawl under a rock somewhere and hide for awhile. Sometimes being a single parent sucks. That is all there is to it.
And then you find yourself sitting down to start a blog in complete frustration and your son starts banging on the wall or ceiling below you... Did I mention that it never ends? It never ends. I get up and go back down stairs and find a boy who grabs me and sticks his forehead to mine and tells me about the most amazing experience he just had with tears running down his cheeks, he is so happy and just wants to spend some time with dad. Suddenly I start to feel like we'll be okay, we're going to make it and that the Lord knows when this dad has had all he can handle. He sends a little comfort my way. So we regroup but first I am off to get tissue for the boy. Then the boy decides he is dry in his mouth and needs a bit of water so I'm off to get a cup of water. The water isn't cold enough, don't you know I want cold water. Sorry, it is as cold as I could get it out of the tap and we don't have ice... Oh, it's okay.
Yep, sometimes I struggle. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes being a single parent does suck and sometimes the Lord intervenes and let's me know we'll be okay. I am grateful for those moments of light, they bring comfort and peace. I need them because I do struggle.
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