When I woke up this morning I was thinking about something that I needed to buy. It was an item that we purchased or had decided to purchase on an annual basis a few years ago. The annual basis happened to be on or about our anniversary. Then it struck me that it was the middle of March and I had to think what the day was. Well, turns out today is the 14th and this is my first "ex" anniversary. I have no idea what you call it. It would have been 14 years today that Rachel and I were married.
I had popped on to Facebook and saw that my good friends in Florida, John and Kathy Schatz were celebrating their 19th wedding anniversary today and thought about them and how much I love and appreciate them. I always thought it was cool that we had the same anniversary. I guess in life you meet people that end up being a special part of your life. John and Kathy are those kind of people to me. They loved us from day one in the Highlands Ward in Lakeland Florida and became our family there. I will ever be grateful for that association and miss their family very much.
Well, after that this morning I just carried on with my day, a little painting, a little sanding, a little housework, dropped Andy off at school and then headed into the LBH to work on the online store some. Got some help from pops on a few things and then was able to start uploading some items. I had to pick Andy up, got some rolls started for dinner, went back to sanding and painting, prepped the rest of dinner, served it, cleaned up and then we were off to the park. I didn't give the actual day another thought until we were hanging out at Jay and Sara's after a spectacular kick ball activity for Family Home Evening. Sara asked me how I was doing today. Perfectly okay really.
Look, I am sitting here and I have to say that I certainly feel a sense of loss and there is definitely a void in my life. How could their not be? That didn't just happen today though. There was a process of time over which this took place. I am saddened by it for sure. I have had some very difficult days and times along the way and life has not necessarily been easy. I have not been left comfortless however and feel that I have been cared for and watched over. I feel my Saviors love.
A little less than a year ago President Sweeney stopped in one day at the Lakeland Ward. I don't know if he came to find me specifically that day but he did. He invited me to come in and visit with him for a while. We spoke, we wept, he knew my heart. He gave me a blessing at that time and part of that included a promise that the Savior would be there to fill the void as I remain faithful. I have felt that. I will be leaning on that promise heavily in a few months when my kids go to visit their mom for two months. That is not going to be an easy thing for me. It is nice sometimes to think of all the little things I won't have to do but the thought of not having Natty, Jack and Andy around me is a painful one. These are my best friends. Perhaps things can slow down a bit and June can wait for a while.
The day, well, I am not sure that it was all that odd. No, pretty normal actually.
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