Just the FAX

Tonight the Little Brick House hosted the Parent Training Meeting for South Elementary.  I am so glad that we can do that for them.  It is a good thing.  I am a bit sad that more people don't come but I don't exactly know how many they invite.  The information is good and though I don't manage to integrate everything I learn there into my life I do come away with ideas and strategies that help me to do a better job.  I am grateful for that.

The subject tonight was something they called FAX.  I didn't have anything to write with and authors names are not something I memorize so unfortunately I cannot report who the source is for this.  Anyway FAX stands for Feelings, Ask, Examine.  The concept behind this reminds me of the lessons on Ego States that President Armstrong taught us in the mission field.  I am sure this is not solely intended for communication between parent and child.  It could certainly be useful in any relationship.  Anyway, here are the basics.

F - Feelings.  Recognize that people have feelings.  There is some form of emotional involvement in a situation and it is important to take your feelings and your emotion out of the equation and try to understand the other persons feelings.  Just thinking here that this formula is probably intended for or best suited for conflict resolution.  Anyhow, the key is to recognize the feelings of someone and take a very logical approach to the situation. 

A - Ask questions.  In your logical approach and while trying to understand an others feelings it is important to ask questions.  You want to have an understanding of the situation and gain that through asking effective questions that gets the individual talking.  You do not to be overly aggressive with your questions because the other individual will feel like they are being attacked and will shut down. 

X - eXamine.  When you understand the feelings and the cause I guess of those feelings, you want to help the individual examine some solutions.  Brainstorming is a big part of this and once a list of possible solutions is compiled you then need to examine each one and determine the best course of action. 

Okay so that is the basics and those are my mental notes.  I did start to use the ideas tonight with all three kids fighting over the couch at scripture time.  I asked about feelings and how certain things made them feel.  I am too tired to get into the details.  Suffice to say I think it was effective.