My Grandfather Alfred Walter Fontano was a, well I will call him a barber. Dad feel free to correct me if need be. I will not refer to him as a beautician or a hair stylist as these were not the terms of his day, at least I don't think they were. I suppose I could be truly dedicated and research the matter but no, we will got with barber. One of my earliest memories of him was he and Grandma Vi came home from their mission in Switzerland. We were living in their house or in the down stairs portion of their duplex anyway. I remember getting my hair cut by Grandpa and hating it. He would do this thing with the bangs where they just were not straight. It drove me nuts. I was only in the first grade at the time but I remember it. The bangs were longer on the side of my head where I had the part. This would allow for them to be combed over rather nicely. I am pretty sure I complained enough to have mom cut them straight. Anyhow, I thought the greatest investment in the world was a set of hair clippers.
I have had a few visits to the local hair cutting establishments in my day and there were times when I walked out completely satisfied. Since returning home from my mission there have been a total of 4 times that I have actually gone in and paid for a hair cut. The first was before I got married. It was Supercuts in Vegas on Maryland Parkway right across from UNLV. I believe that was the worst hair cut I have ever paid for and it cemented my feelings that I simply needed to do it myself. Before I got married I used the family clippers and either had mom or one of the brothers help with the trim. Or I would simply do it myself and hope the back turned out okay. Either people were too kind or I actually pulled it off in back.
After I got married I did make the investment in my own clippers and I had Rachel cut it occassionaly. I will never forget the first time she cut my hair. We were actually living here in Cedar in our little basement apartment and we set up the stool in front of the TV and started Silverado. The movie ended, the credits rolled and she was still cutting my hair. She did a great job but it scared her to death because she thought I would be upset if she messed it up. I could only laugh. You see, I go into every hair cut with one thing in mind - worst case scenario I am buzzing my head. Okay, no problem, I can live with that. It bothers me not at all.
On more than one ocassion I have ended up with a buzzed head. At those times I like to think that I am doing my part for the shampoo conservation league. Don't worry about googling that. It is something I made up from the pulpit in Priesthood opening exercizes one day in the Highlands Ward. I had just had a worst case scenario experience and I took it down really low, straight clippers. It gave me a chance to highlight the scar in the middle of my head from my 5th birthday when Scott Callister hit me with a pillow and I flew across the room into a dresser. Anyhow, one of my counselors, Mike Williams had gone to the bic look himself and there were a few other brethren with little to no hair so I simply came up with the Shampoo Conservation League and that we were doing our part to reduce the waste of this prescious resource. There were not too many that wanted to join me in the movement that day. Hmmm. It may be time to move forward with the league once again.
So there were three additional haircuts that I have paid for since my mission. When we moved to Florida I thought that I needed to grow up some and start paying for hair cuts. I was the GM of two company owned One Hour Air Conditioning franchises with several employees under me and then corporate looking over my shoulder. Yes I thought I had to be more professional and that was where it would start. I hated walking out with haircuts I could do myself and parting with the cash. That was in 2005 and I have not gone back since.
Today I have the good forturne of living with Amy and it is rather nice to have a sister that is expert in mens cuts living in the basement. She does a great job. It is time for another trim but now I just need her help fixing a little problem I created.
So my sideburns were getting rather bushy. If I fluffed them out a bit you would not be able to see my ears. I still own a set of clippers. This morning I was cleaning the bathrooms, caught site of those bushy burns and decided they needed a trim. I pulled out the clippers, trimmed the burns, then a little around the ear, then down across the back. I cleaned up the neck then figured I would just go for it with the tappering blade and all would be fine. Apparently I endured a tapering blade malfunction. Instead of tapering the line just kept creeping higher. I decided it was time to stop and wait for Amy to see if she could fix it. Her ability to blend the hair is second to none and if any one could fix my problem it was Amy. She was just here and pretty much laughed in my face when I sought out her help. I am not quite sure why.
Here I am getting all bragadocious about Amy and her skills and she can't help a brother out. What gives?
Okay so the tapering blade wasn't working and I ended up with a hair line that was a little too high. I knew it was beyond hope so I set out to shave it all and then thought the kids might enjoy seeing their dad with a mohawk.
Andy saw me first this morning before I took him to school. He looked up at my head and said "You are not John anymore". He then wanted me to hold him so he could touch it. He thought it was great.
Natty saw it next and asked "What did you do to your hair?" She had a rather suprised look on her face, laughed, and then went about doing homework.
Jack was the last to see and he was floored. Laying on his back and staring up at my head he didn't say a word and had a concerned look on his face. He went on to inform me that Mohawks are not allowed in the school. When I put him to bed he told me he could shave my head. What a nut.
I keep forgetting it is there and every time I have come into the kitchen and looked up at my reflection in the window I scare my self.
Well, I started out by answering the question "About 2 weeks". The question to this anwer: "What is the difference between a good hair cut and a bad one?"
See you in 2 weeks!
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