Yes I am a guy that sets my clock 10 minutes fast. There have been times in my life where that has gone beyond 10 minutes. I know, it is pretty ridiculous. One of my dear, sweet friends recently discussed this issue and pointed out that it is pointless because you know that your clock is fast and all you really do is the math to figure out what time it really is. Ouch! This is true. Back in the day it was one of those things that I could manage a little easier. I could control the time on my watch, my alarm clocks, the microwave, the oven, the car stereo, the XBox, the VCR, the DVD player, the clock on the wall and just about any other clock you could imagine. Technology has changed all of that. Well, to a point. You see I can still manually set every one of those clocks but why?
There are these little devices we walk around with today. They call them smart phones. Pretty handy if you ask me. The only problem I have with my smart phone is that the network I am on handles the time for me. I don't have the power to control my 10 minute cushion any longer. The time is the time. It has really screwed me up. The poor microwave and oven clocks are becoming obsolete. They are like a mom and pop shop suffering from the effects of the new Super Walmart that just opened up. It is sad. Now I just look at my phone for the time and I know that it is the right time. Well, we hope it is the right time anyway. I was with my dear, sweet friend the other day and we were discussing the 7 minute cushion that existed on my clock in the car (why 7 minutes instead of 10? I am sure there is a good explanation for this minor inconsistency - ahh, the math, it helps me exercise my mind). So she calls me out on my supposed 7 minute cushion stating it was only 2 minutes fast according to her Sprint Network. No no no. It is 7 minutes faster then my Virgin Mobile Network.
What is the deal? Someone is messing with the time. Sprint must have hired some dude who has constantly lived life setting every clock 5 minutes fast. I love this guy. It might be time to switch networks. Wait just minute. My Virgin Mobile runs on the Sprint Network. How can there be this inconsistency? I think, and this is just theoretical, that Sprint is trying to give their customers the upper hand on us Virgin Mobile folks.
In the end, my friend at Sprint whom I love, your scheme will fail. Yes, now that I know your trickery I have programmed in my mind that when I look at my microwave I can simply subtract 10 and add 5. And yes, in the car I can subtract 7 and add 5. My mind is good. This math stuff is pretty amazing. And I thought it was a complete waste of time. Ridiculous.
On the subject of Clock Management my smart phone out smarted me today. I set a special alarm for this morning so I could make it to a meeting that I needed to go to. All was well. I even woke up 3 minutes before the alarm was set to go and thought, I am going to try and get just a little more sleep in before that alarm sounds and I do have a little cushion so when it does sound I am going to snooze it once or twice. Well that few minutes felt like an hour and I was so grateful for that three minute power nap. I thought about getting up but then figured I would test that 5 minutes snooze and see if I could experience that power nap once again. Well, not so much but I did still have one more snooze I could work in and I haven't had a lot of sleep lately so we'll see if this will work. It wasn't quite the same but oh well.
I was up and getting ready. I looked out the front window to assess the snow situation. We had some but it did not stick to the sidewalks or street so no need for shoveling. Sweet. Wait, problem, Brother Jenkins car is not in the drive way. Did I mess up the meeting time? No way. He must just be at the church early to make sure there is no snow on the walks. We're good.
I grabbed my ever smart phone to make an adjustment to my regular Sunday morning alarm that would sound 5 minutes after today's meeting was scheduled to start. I didn't want any heads to turn when my rooster started sounding. Ummm, problem. Yes, the little clock in the corner of my smart phone was an hour faster then a larger clock in the middle of my smart phone. The alarm was still set to go off which is weird because based on the small clock in the corner it should have already sounded and cleared until next Sunday morning. What is happening here? I'm looking at one smart phone and two different times. This is a problem. Only one thing to do - hello microwave, give me some good news. Oh this is not right. Subtract 10 minutes and I am still an hour ahead of what time I thought it was. I guess the reason my 3 minute power nap felt like an hour is because it actually was and now I am all messed up.
I couldn't get the clock thing figured out. It must have been my trip to Vegas. Somehow the time change did something to my smart phone. It has out smarted me yet again. I had to shut it completely down and then restart it. Finally, it is back. I'm thinking it's the Sprint guy. He knows I'm on to him and now he's just having fun with me. So much for clock management Mr. Smart Phone.
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